Reconnecting the Lines: intentional effort & Biblical remembrance

 As I strive to improve and rebuild my physical abilities, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed at times. There are so many areas where I see the need to gain ground, and I know that I can only focus on specific things at specific times. Everything will not happen all at once, nor will it move as fast as I would like—because nothing in my recovery ever has. That simply is not the way things work out. Real progress takes intentional thought, steady effort, and patience to make true gains, and I am more than willing to put in the hard work required.

To make those gains, I attend the gym regularly and engage in one-on-one training designed to target my specific needs. Right now, I am also about to begin incorporating a TENS electrical stimulation unit for my right arm. There are so many physical goals I am eager to reach, such as lifting weight in a steady, controlled way over my head. Currently, my right wrist struggles to maintain the correct form, and my elbow has a tendency to kick out during the movement. Identifying these exact physical habits gives me a clear starting point for where to focus my energy.

Bringing the Work Home

Progress cannot rely solely on the time I spend at the gym. I cannot slip by just working on things when I am at a scheduled session. To support this ongoing effort, I keep a small basket filled with my at-home weights and recovery tools so I can practice those daily functional skills right in my own living space.

This mindset of intentional movement carries over into everything I do throughout the day. When I walk, I am continually thinking about form—mindfully focusing on the correct way to move so that my body learns to allow proper movement to happen naturally.

Synergy in the Team: Reconnecting Broken Pathways

One of the most moving parts of this journey is seeing how people who help me in various capacities all end up on the exact same page together. Whether it is a trainer, a therapist, or a healthcare provider, having a unified team that shares the same ultimate goal is profoundly encouraging.

Together, we are all working toward the same objective: to reconnect the lines of communication in my body that have been broken down or have remained unused pathways for so long.

At times, it feels like an overwhelming amount of information to process all at once—remembering to breathe deeply, aligning this muscle, avoiding that habit, and holding form. Yet, even when it feels like a lot to hold in my mind, I want to do it all. Every single detail matters, and I know that this layered, intentional discipline will yield lasting results.

"Forget Not All His Benefits"

When the path ahead feels long or the daily discipline feels heavy, it is vital to pause and remember. This past week, my pastor preached a powerful sermon on Psalm 103, focusing on the instruction to "forget not all his benefits."

Psalm 103:2-4 "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;"

Now, those benefits are not the reason why I love God or serve Him. My love for Him comes from who He is. But oh, how amazing His benefits truly are!

When I reflect on His benefits, gratitude immediately replaces overwhelm. First and foremost, it is a miracle that I am even alive today. When I was ejected, flying through the air and landing hard enough to lose a contact lens from the impact, it is nothing short of God redeeming my life from destruction that I broke only one bone—my back—rather than sustaining multiple catastrophic fractures.

Even as I acknowledge my current physical limitations and the effort needed to rebuild strength in my right arm compared to my left, I look back on my time in Georgia in 2009 and early 2010. I remember those early days when only my left arm would respond, leaving me to navigate simple, everyday tasks with just one functional side. I recall trying to put on a jacket, line up the zipper, or push a single button through a eyelet—a task that could take up to two painstaking hours for just one button.

Remembering all of that intensive occupational therapy and where I started reminds me that unused pathways can be awakened, lines of communication can be restored, and the God who sustained me through those two-hour buttons is actively sustaining me today.

Rivers in the Desert: Provision in the Wilderness

There is a passage in Isaiah that brings such profound comfort whenever I consider the long road of recovery:

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert."

Whenever I ponder God making a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, my mind goes straight to the Israelites as they wandered through the wilderness for forty years. Think about that kind of daily, sustaining care: He provided manna from heaven every single morning without fail. That kind of miraculous, steady provision is a true river in the desert.

Even more amazing is what Moses reminded the people in Deuteronomy—that during those forty long years in the desert, their clothes did not wear out, nor did their feet swell, nor did their shoes wear out. I dare say there has never been a pair of daily-wear shoes in modern history that lasted forty years without wearing down to nothing! Yet God made what they had sufficient for every single step of the journey.

In recovery, it often feels like a wilderness where progress is slow and demanding. But just as He sustained their bodies, clothes, and shoes day by day in the desert, He makes my strength and resources sufficient for each day's work.

Setting Up Ebenezer Markers: Names and Memorials Matter

To stay grounded in this truth, setting up spiritual "Ebenezer" markers is essential. In the First Book of Samuel, after the Lord delivered Israel, Samuel did something intentional:

1 Samuel 7:12 "Then Samuel took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh and Shen, and called the name of it Ebenezer, saying, Hitherto hath the LORD helped us."

The word Ebenezer means "stone of help." Memorials, markers, and names matter deeply to me. They give tangible form to intangible victories.

Surviving that accident with only one broken bone is an Ebenezer in my life. The memory of overcoming those two-hour struggles with a single button in 2009 is an Ebenezer. Even my small basket of at-home weights sitting in my living room serves as a daily memorial—a physical sign that says, "Hitherto hath the LORD helped us."

Every time I look at those markers, I am reminded that the same God who brought me through the wilderness of 2009 is making a way for me today. He is reconnecting the broken pathways, providing daily strength like manna in the desert, and guiding every single step forward.

Throughout Scripture, we see moment after moment where God’s people built tangible altars to mark places of remembrance. When Noah stepped off the ark onto fresh ground, his first response was to build an altar of worship. When Jacob encountered the divine presence in a dream, he set up a pillar and named the place Bethel—the house of God.

These were not just physical piles of stones; they were dynamic markers in the landscape. They served as visible, enduring reminders meant to direct future generations back to the precise spot where God moved, healed, or delivered. They declared: God met me here.

These sacred locations remind us that praise is never out of season; worship is always in order.

That truth hits with profound weight when I reflect on the lyrics of the song I Have Been Blessed, particularly the line that speaks of having legs to walk, hands to raise, and a voice to speak.

“Arms that will raise, a voice that can talk
Hands that can touch, legs that can walk
Ears that can listen, eyes that can see
I've got to praise Him as long as I breathe
I have been blessed”

When you have walked through a season where those basic functions were stripped away—when there was a time you simply could not—those words cease to be just lyrics. They become a personal altar. The sheer gratitude and emotion that well up during that verse stem from knowing the magnitude of the miracle performed in my life. Standing on the other side of that struggle, I never want to miss an opportunity to build my own altar of praise, ensuring I never fail to give Him the worship He is due.

 Be encouraged. 🧡

                                        👂Listen to 🎵"He Sees What We Don't"

Words That Move Heaven

Have you ever scrolled through social media after a friend or family member posts about a season of deep trial? Perhaps they are facing a terrifying medical diagnosis, navigating the sudden loss of a loved one, or watching a life long dream crumble before their eyes. If you glance at the comment section beneath those heartbreaking posts, you will inevitably see a sea of well-meaning phrases: "Sending good vibes," "Sending positive thoughts your way," "Crossing my fingers for you," or "Hoping karma works it out in the end."

On the surface, these sentiments are born out of a desire to show empathy and comfort. People want to offer a gentle word when they do not know what else to say. But for the Christian believer, this cultural trend raises a critical question: What do these words actually mean? More importantly, what do they fail to do?

When we pull back the curtain on modern terminology, we discover that "good vibes" and "positive energy" are completely incapable of changing a single circumstance in human history. Secular concepts like karma, cosmic balance, or mother nature miss the mark of biblical truth entirely. As we draw closer to the Lord and deepen our walk with Him, our spiritual discernment grows. Naturally, as our hearts align with God’s heart, the very way we speak to others must begin to reflect the kingdom of God.

(Listen to the full audio podcast episode below or read on to explore what God’s Word teaches us about the supernatural power of true intercessory prayer. Episode 15)

Why Language Matters in Our Daily Conversations

Whenever I comment on a friend’s social media post or sit down with someone facing a dark valley, I have become incredibly deliberate with my words. I make it a conscious, intentional point to state clearly: "I am praying for you."

Now, of course I am thinking about them. My heart breaks for their pain, and I care deeply about the outcome of their situation. But I never want my message to be misconstrued or lost in the noise of worldly sentiments. I refuse to tell them I am "sending positive energy" or "crossing my fingers."

Why? Because you cannot wish things into existence with a good vibe. Crossing your fingers carries absolutely zero power to heal a body, restore a marriage, or calm a troubled mind. Hope is not found in a temporary mood, an emotional frequency, or a vague secular feeling. Hope is found in a Person—and His name is Jesus Christ.

When I tell someone I am praying for them, I want them to know that I am actively taking their exact, heavy burden directly to the Creator of the universe. I am entering the spiritual battle on their behalf, approaching the throne of grace, and asking the Sovereign God to intervene. That is what makes a real, eternal difference in a broken world.

Unpacking the Root: Vibes vs. The Sovereign Creator

To understand why these secular phrases are incompatible with Christian theology, we have to look at where they come from. Words are not neutral; they carry worldviews and spiritual foundations. When we look closely at the origins of modern phrases, we see why they stand in direct opposition to the Bible:

• "Good Vibes" and "Positive Energy": These terms come out of modern New Age movement philosophy and humanism. They rely on the idea that humans possess an innate energy field and that if we simply concentrate hard enough or emit enough "good waves," the universe will align with our desires. It makes human effort and human emotion the ultimate source of power.

 

·        "Karma" vs. Biblical Reaping and Sowing: People often confuse karma with the principle of reaping and sowing, but they come from entirely different foundations. Reaping what you sow isn’t karma—it’s biblical. Karma teaches that an impersonal, cold universe automatically balances good and bad deeds through fate or reincarnation, leaving no room for grace, mercy, or forgiveness. In contrast, Galatians 6:7–8 shows us a personal, righteous God: "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Biblical sowing and reaping operates under the sovereignty of God, who offers redemption through Jesus Christ, breaking the ultimate curse of sin—something karma could never do.

 

• "Mother Nature": This term personifies the natural world, giving creation the credit for God’s design, weather, seasonal shifts, and earth's stability. It subtly redirects worship away from the Creator and bestows it upon the created order itself.

None of these three popular mindsets are biblical. They all share one fundamental, fatal error: they attempt to find comfort, power, outcome, and cause-and-effect without God. They attempt to bypass human sin, spiritual brokenness, and our absolute dependency on the Lord by substituting a self-reliant, worldly alternative.

What the Bible Says: Sound Doctrine

When life shatters and human strength gives out, "positive thinking" quickly reveals its emptiness. God’s Word paints a completely different picture of reality—one where human helpless weakness meets divine omnipotence.

1. Divine Power in Human Weakness

2 Corinthians 12:10 "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

The Apostle Paul did not attempt to summon positive thoughts from within himself when facing severe suffering. He did not ask believers to "send good vibes" to sustain him in prison. Instead, he acknowledged his utter helplessness so that the power of Christ could rest upon him. True spiritual strength is not manufactured through human optimism; it is revealed when we surrender our weakness to an Almighty God in prayer.

2. The Danger of Trusting Human Effort

Jeremiah 17:5, 7 "Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord... Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is."

When we offer someone "good vibes," we are subtly encouraging them to put their trust in human goodwill—we are "making flesh our arm." But Scripture warns that relying on human capacity leads to spiritual bankruptcy. When we pray for someone, we are pointing them away from human weakness and anchoring their hope securely in the Lord.

3. The Power and Weight of Our Words

Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

Our words carry genuine spiritual weight. As followers of Jesus, our everyday speech ought to reflect the authority, truth, and holiness of the God we serve. When we adopt the world's secular idioms, we dilute our witness and miss an opportunity to point hurting souls to the living Lord.

Putting Faith Into Action: How to Change Our Speech

Surrendering secular speech patterns is a natural outcome of growing closer to the Lord. As our love for God grows, our spiritual language should become refined, bold, and distinct. Here are three practical steps to align your daily conversations with biblical truth:

1. Examine Your Vocabulary Intentionally: Pay close attention to how you naturally respond when someone shares bad news. Watch for times when you might be tempted to use empty, worldly catchphrases just to fit in or keep things comfortable.
2. Be Unashamedly Explicit in Your Faith: Do not hesitate or apologize for using the word pray. Let your friends, family, and online connections know that you are not offering vague, passive thoughts—you are taking their names directly before the God of heaven.
3. Turn Words into Immediate Intercession: When you type "I am praying for you" under a post or say it in conversation, don't let it stop as a nice sentiment. Pause right then, close your eyes, and speak that person's name to the Lord. Turn your promise into immediate action.

Moving Beyond the Surface

The world is hungry for genuine hope, but it often settles for cheap substitutes because it does not know the Father. As Christians, we have been given direct access to the Sovereign King through the blood of Jesus Christ. We do not have to
rely on "luck," "energy," or "vibes" when we possess the incredible privilege of prayer. Let us resolve today to toss aside empty phrases, stand bold in our faith, and speak words that move heaven!

 Be encouraged. 🧡

Preparing the Way: finding purpose and patience in the process

There are moments on a health journey where the path ahead suddenly comes into focus. It isn’t always the quick, easy answer we might hope for, but it is a path—and having a clear plan of action is something to be profoundly grateful for.

After my recent follow-up GI appointment, I walked away with both a definitive diagnosis and a structured strategy moving forward. As I’ve sat with the news, digested the timelines, and contemplated what this all means, I’m reminded that healing is rarely a single, sudden event. More often, it’s a deliberate process of clearing the ground, building a sturdy foundation, and preparing the way for whatever comes next. Foundations are super important, a physical but Biblical truth.

Isaiah 40:3  “The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.”

The Findings and the 8-Week Plan

During my appointment, my doctor laid out the findings from my recent testing, specifically surrounding Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EoE)—an inflammatory condition where an overabundance of white blood cells builds up within the esophageal tissue.

A condition I didn’t know I had a few weeks ago.

To tackle this issue directly, we are embarking on an eight-week medical trial starting as soon as insurance approves this medication (hopefully). The regimen involves a combination of targeted therapies: a twice-daily prescription-strength PPI to suppress acid production and minimize tissue irritation, basically like Prilosec, alongside Dupixent, a biologic medication administered as a weekly self-injection (shot).

At the conclusion of these eight weeks, I will undergo a repeat endoscopy. The goal of this second procedure is straightforward yet critical: we need to re-biopsy the tissue to evaluate whether the white blood cell count has dropped and verify that the severe inflammation has subsided.

Being a Realist: Looking Beyond the Inflammation

While I am fully committed to executing this eight-week plan, I want to remain grounded and honest about where things stand. Looking at the broader clinical picture alongside my day-to-day symptoms, I don’t view this endeavor through rose-colored glasses, nor am I falling into pessimism. I am simply approaching the reality of the situation with clear eyes.

Even when this treatment successfully calms the widespread inflammation throughout my esophagus—as we pray and expect it will—I anticipate that the underlying dysfunction with my Upper Esophageal Sphincter (UES) will ultimately prove to be nerve-related. When normal sensation is absent and the muscle fails to relax properly, it points toward an interruption in the neuro-muscular communication pathway between the brain and the digestive tract.

If that proves to be the case, it simply means we will eventually need to chart a new course to bridge that specific gap. Recognizing that reality isn't a defeat; it’s merely reading the map accurately so we know precisely which direction to walk next. Plainly, if calming tissue does not allow the UES muscle the proper muscular function, the culprit is an absent adequate nerve path.

Proverbs 3:5–6  “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Addressing the Root: Why the Esophagus Must Come First

It is easy to look at a complex, multi-step medical trial and wonder, "Why do we have to complete this entire phase first if a nerve or sphincter muscle might be the ultimate culprit?"

The answer lies entirely in foundational preparation.

Whether we ultimately discover that the issue with the UES stems purely from a nerve pathway breakdown, or whether calming this environmental irritation is the key that enables the sphincter to resume functioning on its own, the complete esophageal inflammation must be tackled either way. Without addressing the raw, compromised tissue first, it remains a severe, impenetrable roadblock. Even if the UES were to regain perfect mechanical function tomorrow, severe inflammation in the surrounding tissue would still leave swallowing exceptionally difficult—if not impossible.

Trying to repair or retrain a delicate nerve-muscle connection in an environment crowded with inflammatory cells is like trying to build a permanent structure on shifting sand. By taking these eight weeks to settle the tissue now, we eliminate an obstacle that would have halted our progress later down the road. We are clearing away the noise so that when we address nerve and muscle function, we are operating from a stable, healthy baseline.

God is in the Details: The Purpose of Preservation

There is a well-known saying that "the devil is in the details," usually framed as a warning about hidden pitfalls or perfectionist traps. But looking at things through a deeper lens of purpose, I cannot help but turn the phrase around: Au contraire, God is in the details.

These specifics are not trivial facts or minor logistics—they are the exact details He sees, knows, and actively orchestrates. Addressing and documenting this health program for my EoE isn't simply about managing immediate outcomes, tracking diagnostic numbers, or anxiously waiting to see how every test turns out. It is about preservation—preserving the full truth of this journey, honoring the time spent in the waiting, and establishing an authentic record of what it takes to navigate a path like this.

This process of working through every piece and setting the record straight needs to happen either way. Whether a specific medication brings the exact result I hope for or leads us down a secondary diagnostic path, the integrity of the process matters. When you trust the timing and the broader purpose, getting the details right transforms from an act of anxiety into an act of spiritual alignment. It ensures that when things fall into place at the right time, they stand on firm ground.

Preparing the Way for the Table

The ultimate goal of this entire journey has never changed: preparing the way to eat by mouth again.

Every injection, every daily dose, every detailed record, and every medical procedure serves as a deliberate stepping stone toward that destination. While processing all of this information requires significant time and emotional energy, I take profound comfort in knowing that no step is wasted. God works through the orderly, step-by-step details of our lives just as powerfully as He does through sudden, dramatic breakthroughs.

We are taking this one week at a time, trusting the process, and laying an unshakable foundation for complete restoration.

Jeremiah 29:11“‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.’”

Beyond Swallowing: Hard Work, Sweat, and Whole-Body Stewardship

At the exact same time I am endeavoring to accomplish these goals for my swallowing and working through oral coordination exercises, I am also refining skills for my broader physical needs. A major focus of mine right now is on my mobility and walking—specifically concentrating on bending my knee properly to create a movement pattern that is graceful, smooth, and natural, rather than stiff and rigid.

Rebuilding movement involves many moving parts, but I am certainly not afraid of hard work, sweat, or physical fatigue. That is what true recovery demands, and it is something I have stepped up to do many times over. In fact, there is an immense sense of satisfaction in feeling strong, feeling that good physical soreness, and knowing that every effort has a clear, intentional purpose behind it.

Sometimes recovery means facing a physical challenge or a piece of exercise equipment that initially feels intimidating, scary, or downright impossible. But I always believe in stepping up to try anyway. The old saying claims that "practice makes perfect," but for me, practice is about persistent progress. If I cannot perform a movement perfectly today, I can build strength to do a little more tomorrow. I’ve even recently pushed past my own initial hesitation and learned to use gym machines that used to intimidate me. Every single session lays another brick in the foundation of my physical independence.

Call it a bit crazy or unusual, but I even went to my very first massage therapy session recently, focusing heavily on cranial and lymphatic work. I am learning to be deeply mindful of my whole body—recognizing how God designed every system to work in harmony, support itself, and communicate across nerve and tissue pathways. In this arena, I am committed to dotting every i and crossing every t, doing everything within my power to honor and care for the body I've been given as it heals.

Expected Opposition

When you make a firm decision to grow, change, or pursue a meaningful goal, don't be surprised when resistance immediately shows up at your door.

The enemy recognizes when you've drawn a line in the sand. Often, that opposition doesn't come as a giant, obvious threat—it comes disguised through everyday situations, sudden obstacles, or even people close to us who have no idea they are being used to derail your progress.

These moments are specifically designed to press on existing insecurities, amplify doubt, and make quitting feel like the easiest option. But when you recognize the pattern for what it is, the dynamic changes. Instead of letting the hurt shut you down, you can choose to reframe it. What was intended to cause discouragement can become the exact fuel that pushes you forward. Let every attempt to make you shrink become the reason you step up, meet your goal, and rise above it.

 Be encouraged. 🧡

 

​When Prayers Are Kept in Gold (Part 2): Ordered Steps, Surrender, and the Unknown Future ​

In my last post, I shared how the imagery in Revelation—prayers kept in golden vials, precious and never forgotten—helped me process my diagnosis of Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EOE). Receiving that answer on the exact 17th anniversary milestone of my motorcycle accident was a profound reminder that God’s timing is intentional.

​In ancient times and biblical symbolism, gold represents absolute purity and supreme value. God does not treat our petitions as passing, disposable words. He doesn't let them vanish into nothingness. Instead, He preserves them in Heaven like precious treasures.

​Then in Revelation 8:3–4, an angel stands at the golden altar with a censer, and the smoke of that incense—carrying every prayer, every whisper, and every quiet tear—ascends directly before the throne of God. Your words reach the very center of divine authority.

​When Fire Falls: Divine Timing

​Notice what happens next in Revelation 8:5. After the prayers accumulate and the incense rises, the angel takes that same censer, fills it with fire from the altar, and hurls it onto the earth—bringing thunder, lightning, and decisive movement.

​The very vessel that held the quiet, burning prayers of God's people becomes the vessel that carries His power back down to earth.

​This shows us something profound about unanswered prayer: a delay is not indifference—it is preparation.

​God does not operate on a microwave timer. He accumulates our prayers until the precise moment His divine will, timing, and purpose intersect. The vial is filling. When the golden censer is finally poured out, the response carries the full weight of Heaven.

​Looking back on 17 years of prayers that felt unanswered in the moment, I realize now that not a single one was lost in transit. Every prayer offered during those long years was sitting safely in pure gold right at the throne of God, waiting for the right time.

I’ve learned to be content with my circumstances. I have told God that I’d rather enter Heaven like I am than be whole and go to Hell.

​But as I’ve sat with this revelation over the past few days, the Lord has been showing me that the timeline goes even deeper than I initially realized.

​Looking back, I can see a trail of ordered steps. Every closed door, every decision, every person placed in my path was quietly lining up to bring me to this exact moment.

​The Doors That Had to Close: Stepping Away from Teaching

​When you’re in the middle of a life transition, it’s rarely easy. One of the biggest shifts for me was the bittersweet decision to end my time in teaching.

​At the time, walking away from that chapter felt heavy. I knew in my spirit that the Lord was closing that door so He could open new ones, but leaving something familiar is always a test of trust.

​What I didn't see then—what I couldn't see—was that stepping away was a necessary piece of the puzzle.

​If I had stayed on that path, I would not have had the capacity, the flexibility, or the opportunity to meet the specific people I needed to meet, or be in the right places at the right time. Every interaction and shift in my schedule over the last few years was secretly serving a purpose: positioning me to finally receive this diagnosis and the care I needed.

Proverbs 16:9 ​“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”  

​We often want to see the whole staircase, but God usually just shows us the next step. Looking back now, I see that even the painful transitions were acts of protection and preparation.

​Holding Hope Without Demanding Guarantees

I’ll be honest with you: sitting where I am right now is overwhelming.

​I don't know what the future holds with this diagnosis. I don't know every detail of what lies ahead on this medical journey.

​I am remaining extremely positive and hopeful—especially based on the encouraging things I’ve heard from my doctors. But there’s a delicate balance we all have to walk when facing health challenges: how do we hold onto fierce hope without building up human expectations for a specific outcome?

​Scripture tells us that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).

​Faith doesn't demand a guaranteed blueprint from God; it simply chooses to trust Him with the unknown. Keeping that faith alive means choosing to believe that whatever comes, God is already in my tomorrow.

When you spent nearly two decades adapting to unresolved physical symptoms, survival mode becomes your second nature. You learn how to push through the exhaustion, downplay the pain, and adjust your daily routines just to keep moving forward. But when an answer finally comes, it brings a whole new emotional season that nobody really prepares you for—the in-between.

The in-between is that quiet space where the mystery has ended, but the healing journey is just beginning. It’s where relief and grief sit at the very same table.

On one hand, there is a profound, holy wonder in knowing that God heard every prayer and that every piece of your timeline was carefully directed. On the other hand, there is a very human weight in realizing how long you carried the heavy burden of the unknown. Allowing yourself to feel both of those things isn't a lack of faith; it’s simply being honest about the human experience.

God doesn't ask us to put on a brave face or pretend the journey hasn't been tiring. Throughout Scripture, He invites us to bring our rawest emotions right into His presence. In the middle of this in-between space, I am learning that surrender isn't a one-time event—it’s a daily decision. It means laying down my desire to control the outcome, releasing the lingering exhaustion of the past 17 years, and choosing to trust that the same God who held my prayers in gold is holding my tomorrow.

If you find yourself in your own "in-between" right now—standing between a past challenge and an unwritten future—give yourself the grace to breathe. You don't have to have every step mapped out today. You just have to hold onto the One who does.

​The Lies We Reject and the Light We Shine

​As I process all of this, two thoughts have become overwhelming, prominent truths in my spirit.

​First, the enemy loves to whisper quiet lies into our hardest seasons. He wants to tell us that we aren't capable. That we can't do it. That we have no voice, no influence, and that our story makes no difference.

​I want to remind you today: anything the enemy tells you is one big lie.

​You do have a voice. You are heard. Your story does make a difference, and what you do with your life matters deeply.

​My ultimate goal in sharing all of this—the highs, the lows, the diagnoses, and the waiting—is simply to share the goodness of God with a thankful heart. As children of God, that should be our highest calling: to live in such a way that when people look at our lives, they see something unique, different, and undeniably pointing back to Jesus.

​Doing My Part: Faith and Practical Determination

​Refusing to listen to those lies doesn't mean pretending things are easy. It means getting up every day and doing the work, trusting God to supply the strength.

​Recently, I was attending an event at a large facility with over a thousand people. Between the crowds and the long walking distances, using my walker was an absolute necessity. To be completely honest, I’ve never wanted to rely on it less than I did that week.

​While I am grateful for the help when I need it, it is my goal to keep pushing forward, making steady improvements so that one day I may not need it in those spaces. Even small, practical changes make a difference—like finding a backpack for my things so my balance isn't thrown off by carrying weight on just one side.

​I know that physical progress takes time, dedication, and God’s grace. But looking back over my life, that is exactly how I have overcome every single obstacle I’ve ever conquered. God provides the grace, but He also calls us to take the next step.

​Nothing New Under the Sun

​Our struggles may be unique in the details, but as Ecclesiastes reminds us, there is nothing new under the sun. We all carry burdens. We all fight battles—some visible, some hidden.

​My prayer is that by sharing my journey with open hands and an honest heart, you find a spark of encouragement for yours. Whatever battle you are facing today, remember that your prayers are kept in gold, your steps are ordered, your voice matters, and the God who brought you this far is faithful to see you through.

 Be encouraged. 🧡

                                Listen to this song 🎵Middle of a Miracle

Stored Prayers, Sovereign Timing, and the Miracles in Between

Sitting in the Quiet In-Between

I went into my esophageal procedure this week expecting a routine step forward in my swallowing journey—focusing on my esophagus and hoping for clarity. But if there is one lesson chronic medical challenges teach us, it is that our journeys rarely follow our expected human scripts.

During the procedure, my doctor found an unexpected visual concern regarding the tissue lining my esophagus. He immediately took a biopsy to send off for pathology testing. Just like that, the trajectory of my day shifted. I found myself sitting in that familiar, quiet in-between—the space of waiting, holding my breath, and anticipating results.

It is a deeply vulnerable place to be. Your mind wants to race ahead, to anticipate every scenario, and to wrestle with the unknown. Yet, right in the middle of that vulnerability, God showed up in His quiet providence. He gave me a gentle, timely reminder of who is holding my story, who has always held my story, and why I can trust Him with tomorrow.

Proverbs 3:5–6 "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

A Note Tucked Between the Pages

The other day, my mom was looking through my Mamaw's Bible. She passed away almost two years ago, leaving behind a legacy of faith that still warms our hearts. Tucked tenderly between the pages of her well-worn Scripture was a handwritten note in her distinctive, familiar handwriting.

On it, she had written a simple, heartfelt prayer:

"Jesus please heal Felicia completely and thank you holy Father."

Holding that slip of paper brought immediate tears to my eyes. It was a profound reminder that long before I fully understood the depth of my injuries or the long road ahead, someone who loved me was faithfully carrying my name directly before the throne of God.

It immediately brought to mind the vivid imagery in the Book of Revelation, where John describes the atmosphere of heaven and how our earthly petitions are received by God:

Revelation 5:8 "And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints."

Later in the vision, John sees these prayers again at the heavenly altar:

Revelation 8:3–4 "And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel's hand."

What an breathtaking promise! Our prayers are never wasted, forgotten, or lost in the ether. God hears them, treasures them, holds them in golden vials, and answers them according to His perfect wisdom and timing.

Remembering the First Miracle

As I reflected on that handwritten note, my mind drifted back to another miracle early in my recovery. Years ago, after my severe motorcycle accident, my right arm would not move at all due to extensive nerve damage. The medical team discussed performing a nerve graft—a complex surgery to reconnect the damaged pathway in hopes of restoring function.

It felt like an overwhelming hurdle. But before that surgery ever became necessary, something incredible happened: my arm began moving again on its own. The neural pathway reconnected, and I never needed that graft. It was a clear, unmistakable touch of God’s restoring hand.

Now, after my recent esophagus procedure, I find myself standing in a strikingly similar place. My doctors explain that my swallowing difficulties aren't simply a matter of strengthening muscles through routine exercise. The deeper challenge is that the nerve pathway between my brain and the involuntary muscles responsible for swallowing must reconnect and function properly. In so many ways, it mirrors what I faced with my arm.

I admitted to my mom that I couldn't understand why one nerve-related issue had fully resolved back then while the other hasn't yet. When I mentioned that connection to her, she looked at me and quietly said something I will never forget:

"I strongly believe your arm recovered because that's something your Mamaw specifically prayed for."

The Persistent Echo of Faith

I can't say exactly how God chooses to answer each individual prayer. I don't know every single petition my Mamaw prayed for me in the quietness of her room, and I certainly don't remember every desperate prayer I prayed for myself during those raw, painful early days.

But I do know this absolute truth: God hears the prayers of His people.

Psalm 34:15 "The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry."

Sometimes He answers immediately. Sometimes He answers years later. And sometimes He answers after the warrior who prayed has already finished her race and gone home to be with Him. Finding that handwritten note reminded me that even though my Mamaw is no longer here on earth, the God she prayed to is very much alive and present. He has not forgotten me, nor has He forgotten a single word written on that piece of paper.

So while I wait on medical results and continue praying for healing in my swallowing, I find deep hope in remembering that the same God who restored movement to my arm is still fully able to do what seems humanly impossible today. He holds every nerve, every outcome, and every prayer stored up in those golden vials.

Jeremiah 32:17 "Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee."

God in the Details and the Exact Timing

Recently in Sunday school, I was studying the story of Elijah in 1 Kings. Elijah declared a severe drought to King Ahab as a direct judgment upon his kingdom for their disobedience and idol worship. In those days, Baal was worshipped as the god of weather, rain, and agricultural prosperity.

When God answered their idolatry with a drought, it wasn't a random penalty. It was a direct, intentional response that exposed the complete powerlessness of their false god.

1 Kings 17:1 "And Elijah the Tishbite, who was of the inhabitants of Gilead, said unto Ahab, As the LORD God of Israel liveth, before whom I stand, there shall not be dew nor rain these years, but according to my word."

That lesson was a striking reminder that God is meticulously in the details. His timing is exact, His logic is intentional, and His purpose is always specific.

I see that same sovereign design woven throughout my own medical journey right now:

• Step 1: If I hadn’t been working closely with my speech therapist, I wouldn’t have had the specific swallow study that prompted me to revisit my ENT.
• Step 2: If I hadn't gone back to my ENT, he wouldn't have suggested this specific procedure—one we hadn't tried yet.
• Step 3: If we hadn't agreed to move forward with the procedure, he never would have seen the visible tissue abnormality or been able to send it off for a biopsy.

Without those earlier steps, that underlying issue would have remained completely hidden and untreated.

Nothing in this process has been wasted. What felt like a roundabout, indirect path was actually God ordering my steps to reveal what needed to be brought to light. Just as He held the weather in Elijah’s day, He is holding the precise timeline of my health today.

Psalm 37:23 "The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way."

Milestone Days and Answers to Prayer

Today marks the 17th anniversary of my motorcycle accident—the day my life changed in an instant, but also the day God began showing me undeniable miracles.

On this exact milestone day, I received a callback from my ENT with the official biopsy results: it is positive for Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EoE).

While receiving a chronic diagnosis can feel overwhelming on the surface, I genuinely see it as an answer to prayer. If we hadn't gone through every step of this exact process, we would still be in the dark, wondering why my progress felt stalled.

Now, we have clarity. I have a clear follow-up plan with my ENT and a referral to a gastroenterologist to begin targeted treatment to calm the tissue.

Seventeen years ago today, God preserved my life on the pavement. Today, on this exact anniversary, He gave me clarity for my health moving forward. He is still in the details. His timing is still perfect. And He is still answering the prayers stored in those golden vials.

Psalm 28:6–7 "Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him."

 Be encouraged. 🧡

 

Stronger Together: we need each other

I recently had the privilege of speaking at a summer youth camp, sharing parts of my personal testimony. The camp’s theme was "Stronger Together," and as I prepared my heart and my words for those young people, I found myself reflecting on what those two words actually mean in the quiet, daily reality of our lives.

For me, "stronger together" isn't a modern self-help slogan or a catchy camp theme. It is a biological, emotional, and spiritual truth. It is the very reason I am still here to tell my story.

Looking back over the last 17 years since the unexpected tragedy that changed my life, I realize that surviving, healing, and continuing to grow has required an entire ecosystem of people. God never designed us to walk this earth as isolated islands, yet we so often try to do exactly that.

To understand why we must stand together, we have to look at two fundamental truths: the fragile nature of our earthly existence, and the divine blueprint for our relationships.

The Vapor of Life and the Suddenness of Change

These concepts are not new. They are as ancient as scripture itself. We live our lives making plans for next week, next year, or our retirement, forgetting how thin the veil truly is between our normal routine and a completely different reality.

The Bible pulls no punches when describing how quickly our earthly status can shift. In the book of James, we are reminded of just how fleeting our time here is:

James 4:14 "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

Our life is a vapor. A flash in the pan. A breath in the wind, so quick to be gone.

My own history began with a sudden, tragic accident—a moment that instantly divided my life into "before" and "after." When I spoke to the youth at camp, I wanted them to understand a hard but necessary truth: tragedy does not have an age limit. It does not wait for you to grow up, finish school, get married, or feel "ready." It doesn't respect our timelines.

But as I’ve shared before, it doesn’t even take a massive, dramatic tragedy to completely rewrite the course of your life. It can happen in the middle of a completely normal, everyday event.

Years ago, during my initial recovery at a hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, I looked around at the other patients sharing the rehabilitation unit with me. Some of them were there, like you might expect, due to high-impact car accidents or traumatic gunshot wounds. But others were there because of things so mundane, so ordinary, that you would never think twice about them:

• One patient was there simply because they tripped over a loose shoelace.
• Another was wearing a favorite knitted sweater, and as they stood up from a porch swing, a single button got caught causing the wooden swing to hit her where her neck and head meet.

A loose string. A snagged button.

These were not daredevils or people taking massive risks. They were just living a normal day, and in a fraction of a second, an ordinary moment turned into a life-altering catastrophe. If our lives can hinge on something as small as a shoelace or a button, how can we possibly think we are strong enough to walk this path alone?

The Divine Rescue of Community

Because our lives are so fragile, and because the unexpected is always just around the corner, God built a safety net into the very fabric of creation: each other.

When my accident happened, my need for people was immediate and overwhelming. In the beginning, I needed the highly specialized, intense physical care of doctors, surgeons, and therapists. As the weeks turned to months, I needed the round-the-clock care and comfort of nurses, family, and close friends. And alongside them, I needed the community of people who sent cards, wrote notes, offered up prayers, and visited me—small gestures of encouragement that kept my spirit alive when my body was broken.

Even now, 17 years later, that need has not disappeared. I still need people. I still rely on their expertise, their physical assistance, and their encouragement when I am trying to make new physical gains and push past my current limitations.

Scripture speaks directly to this lifelong, reciprocal need for partnership in the book of Ecclesiastes:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

There is a profound warning in that verse: "Woe to him that is alone when he falleth." Falling is an inevitable part of the human experience. We will fall physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The tragedy isn't the fall itself; the tragedy is falling without a hand to reach down and pull you back up.

The Power of Your Circle

We have all heard the secular phrases before: "There is strength in numbers," or "Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future." But these aren't just modern sociological observations. Who you surround yourself with—your "circle"—has a massive, undeniable influence on your life, whether you want to admit it or not.

The writer of Proverbs understood the sharpening power of deep, intentional relationships:

Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."

If we surround ourselves with dull, unsupportive, or negative influences, we become dull. But when we build a circle of faith, strength, and encouragement, we sharpen one another. Throughout scripture, we are given beautiful, concrete examples of people who survived their darkest moments purely because of the strength of their circle.

1. Aaron and Hur: Holding Up Weary Hands

In Exodus 17, the Israelites found themselves in a fierce battle against the Amalekites. Moses discovered that as long as he held up his staff in his hands, Israel prevailed. But Moses was a human being, and his arms grew heavy.

Exodus 17:12 "But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun."

Moses was a great leader, chosen by God, but he could not hold his hands up alone. He needed Aaron and Hur to literally carry the weight for him. Sometimes, we are Moses—weary, exhausted, unable to keep fighting. In those moments, we need friends who will bring us a stone to sit on and hold our hands high until the victory is won.

2. The Lame Man’s Friends: Tearing Down Barriers

In Mark chapter 2, we find the story of a man sick with palsy (paralyzed) who desperately needed to get to Jesus. The house where Jesus was teaching was so packed with crowds that there was absolutely no way through the door.

A lesser circle of friends might have said, "Well, we tried. We’ll come back tomorrow." But this man’s circle was different.

Mark 2:4-5 "And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay. When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee."

Notice that scripture says Jesus saw their faith—the collective faith of the friends who carried the stretcher, climbed the roof, and tore up the tiles. This man received his healing and walked out on his own two feet because he had a circle of friends who refused to let barriers stand between him and his miracle.

3. Jonathan and David: Strength in the Wilderness

When David was on the run for his life, hunted like an animal by King Saul, he was isolated, terrified, and weary. In his moment of deepest despair, Saul’s own son, Jonathan, risked everything to find David in the woods.

1 Samuel 23:16 "And Jonathan Saul's son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God."

Jonathan didn’t offer David a military strategy or a political alliance; he went into the dark woods simply to strengthen his hand in God. He reminded David of God's promises when David was too tired to remember them himself. That is the ultimate purpose of a godly circle: to point us back to the Father when our own strength is gone.

Who is in Your Circle?

Because our circle has such a powerful influence on us, we must be incredibly intentional about who we allow into our inner world. The Bible warns us about the quiet, eroding power of poor companionship:

1 Corinthians 15:33 "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners."

If we surround ourselves with people who feed our fears, validate our excuses, or pull us away from our faith, we will slowly find ourselves slipping. But when we choose a circle like the ones Moses, the lame man, and David had, we build a foundation that can withstand any storm.

As you look at your own life today, ask yourself:

1. Who is holding up your hands when you get weary? Do you have an Aaron and a Hur in your corner?
2. Who is willing to help you tear off the roof to get to Jesus? Do your friends push you closer to God, or do they pull you away?
3. Are you being that friend to someone else?

Tied Together for the Journey

Our lives are indeed a vapor. We do not know what tomorrow holds, and we cannot guarantee that a simple walk down the driveway or a button on a sweater won't change everything in an instant. Tragedy and change are unpredictable, and they do not wait for us to be ready.

But we do not have to walk this fragile road in fear. God has given us a remedy for our vulnerability: each other.

By building a strong, godly circle, by opening ourselves up to receive help, and by standing ready to hold up the hands of those who are weary, we fulfill the ultimate law of Christ. Let us cherish our circle, guard our influences, and live out the truth every single day that we are, by God's perfect design, stronger together.

Galatians 6:2 "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."

 

Protected More Than I Knew

A Warning Sign I Didn't Understand

As I have reflected on different parts of my recovery journey, I have recently found myself thinking about an event that happened in 2012. At the time, I knew it was serious, but I do not think I fully understood just how serious it could have become.

After my motorcycle accident and the surgeries that followed, I began developing painful fluid pockets on my back. They would swell and become very uncomfortable. One of them was removed, but the fluid pockets continued to return.

There was one in particular that became especially painful. The pain grew so intense that I was taking Tylenol every four hours just to get some relief. Despite everything I had already endured during my recovery, this was a difficult and frustrating experience.

Then one day, the fluid pocket burst.

I knew something was wrong. I went to the emergency room, where they examined the area and took a swab for testing. A short time later, the lab results came back showing that bacteria was growing in the sample.

Prior to that, I had undergone scans, including CT scans and ultrasounds, to make sure my vertebrae had healed properly. Discussions had already begun about removing the metal hardware from my back. However, after the fluid pocket burst and the testing revealed bacteria, the situation suddenly became much more urgent.

The doctors quickly scheduled surgery and moved forward with removing the hardware.

Looking back now, I realize there was much more at stake than I understood at the time. An infection around implanted hardware is not something to take lightly. Had it continued to spread, it could have affected my bones, entered my bloodstream, or caused serious complications throughout my body.

At the time, I was focused on getting through the pain and dealing with whatever came next. Years later, I find myself reflecting on how close I may have been to an even greater medical crisis.

Sometimes we only recognize the significance of certain moments when we look back. What seemed like another setback in my recovery may have actually been a warning sign that led doctors to discover a problem before it became far worse.

As I think about that experience today, I am reminded that there are times when God protects us from dangers we do not fully see or understand. We often focus on the trials we face, but sometimes the greater story is found in what never happened because of His provision and care.

There is still much about that season of my recovery that I continue to process and reflect upon. But one thing is certain: looking back now, I realize I may have been protected more than I knew.

The Blessings We Never See

As I have reflected on this experience, I have realized that the infection itself is only part of the story. The greater lesson may be how often we are unaware of what God is protecting us from.

At the time, I knew the fluid pockets were painful. I knew the surgery was necessary. What I did not fully appreciate was how much worse the situation could have become had the infection spread further. There are countless dangers, both seen and unseen, from which the Lord protects us every day.

Psalm 121:7-8 "The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore."

Many times, we thank God for the blessings we can see while never realizing the problems He prevented altogether.

The longer I live, the more I realize that we often focus on the blessings we can clearly identify while overlooking countless others. We thank God for the prayers He answered, but we rarely think about the prayers we never knew we needed. We celebrate the doors He opened, but we seldom consider the dangers He closed off before we ever encountered them.

I think about the infection in my back and wonder how many times God has intervened in my life without me fully realizing it. At the time, I only saw the pain, the doctor visits, and the uncertainty. Looking back now, I can see that what felt like a setback may have actually been a mercy. The bursting of that fluid pocket was frightening, but it also led to the discovery of a problem that needed immediate attention.

How many times has the Lord protected me in ways I never recognized?

The truth is that none of us really know. We do not know how many accidents were avoided, how many illnesses were prevented, or how many situations were redirected by God's hand. We simply trust that He is faithful.

Psalm 91:11 reminds us, "For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways."

That verse does not mean we will never face hardship. My own life is evidence that trials still come. However, it does remind me that God is actively involved in the lives of His children. Even when we cannot see what He is doing, He is still working.

Perhaps that is why gratitude is so important. If we only thank God for the blessings we can identify, we may miss countless reasons to be thankful. Every ordinary day is filled with mercies we often overlook. Every breath, every step, every moment of strength, and every obstacle that never materialized is a reminder of God's care.

When I stop and think about it, I realize that some of the greatest blessings in my life may be the ones I never saw at all.

Every Improvement Matters

My recovery has also taught me to appreciate small victories. Before my accident, there were countless things I did without a second thought. I never considered what a gift it was to walk, maintain my balance, swallow, tie my shoes, or brush my teeth. Today, I celebrate milestones that many people might overlook.

Recently, I discovered that I can now puff my cheeks out and hold air in them. To most people, that probably sounds insignificant. Yet for me, it represents progress. It represents muscles strengthening, nerves responding, and abilities returning that were once lost.

It reminds me that every improvement matters.

Sometimes the things we did as children for fun were actually developing muscles, coordination, and abilities we would one day depend upon. We rarely think about those things until they become difficult.

Perhaps that is true spiritually as well. We often take God's daily provisions for granted because they seem ordinary. Yet every breath, every step, every movement, every answered prayer, and every danger avoided is evidence of His grace. Those gifts should never be taken lightly.

The older I get and the further I move along this recovery journey, the more I realize that nothing should be taken for granted. Every step forward is worth celebrating. Every ability is a gift. And every day is another reminder that God has been protecting and sustaining me in ways I may never fully understand this side of heaven.

 Be encouraged. 🧡