In the aftermath of my motorcycle accident in 2009, life in
the hospital was filled with challenges that shaped my path to recovery.
Immediately after the wreck, I was unable to speak, breathe on my own, or move
parts of my body. I even remember thinking my hips and shoulders were broken,
they were so painfully bruised. It was a time of immense struggle, yet, even
through these difficult moments, I could see God's hand at work in ways I never
imagined.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to
them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
Ventilator Dependency and the Alphabet Board
After the wreck, I was on a ventilator to assist my lungs in breathing. The
ventilator was physically inserted into my neck through a tracheotomy (trach),
and the machine followed me wherever I went. When I was well enough to go to
the therapy gym or move around the hospital in my wheelchair, a mobile unit
would accompany me to continue assisting my breathing.
With the trach in place, I could not speak. To communicate, I had to use an
alphabet board—a grid with the letters A to Z in separate cells. I would point
to letters to spell out words. This might sound simple, but at the time, it was
a painstaking task. My muscle control was non-existent, so pointing to a single
letter could take several tries. I also had no movement in my right arm, so the
task was left to my one usable appendage.
I recall trying to spell out the word "is" on the alphabet board.
After struggling for what felt like forever, I became so frustrated that I
threw my hands up in defeat. My mom and stepdad gently encouraged me,
"Please don't give up; we want to know what you're saying."
“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help
cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)
 |
| 2009, tape on my glasses and NO trach |
After my motorcycle wreck, my vision was greatly affected.
Each eye pointed in a different direction, leaving me unable to see clearly.
What made this even more challenging was that I couldn't verbally communicate
what I was experiencing. I remember every morning, trying to memorize what the
nurse told me—the day, the date, and the name of my nurse—because I couldn't
physically read the board from my bed. I was afraid that if I gave them
incorrect information, they might think I was losing my mind, and that was the
last thing I wanted.
To begin correcting my vision, the medical team started by
using tape on the lens of my glasses. Depending on the progress of my eye
muscles, they would place the tape on either the left or right side of the
lens, and sometimes it would cover part or all of the lens. This process helped
my eyes gradually return to their normal position, but I had to wear the tape
for several years.
Afterward, I transitioned to using a stick-on prism, which had lines that went directly on my glasses lens to correct my double vision. This helped bring my vision back into a single view. Now, I'm blessed to have that prism ground directly into my glasses lens, so it looks like regular clear glass—no more stick-on prisms with visible lines. The journey with my vision was long, but it's another testimony to the slow and steady process of healing.
Even today I try to do five minutes of exercises where you follow
your finger (pursuit eye exercises). These help improve eye coordination and
the ability to smoothly track objects, as my eyes have a nystagmus (tendency to
jump) due to head trauma.
 |
| 2009, strapped in a walker |
Physical therapy was one of the most intense parts of my recovery. Since I had lost weight and all of my muscle function, I had to relearn how to use every part of my body. This was frustrating because mentally I knew what I wanted to do, but making my body do it wasn't so simple. Much of the therapy was focused on helping me stand and move again.
One of the early exercises involved using a tilt table, which gradually helped me adjust to standing upright. At first, every time they raised the table, my blood pressure would bottom out, and I felt like I was going to pass out. It took days to reach a full 90-degree vertical position. Each step was a triumph, though it required immense patience. Achieving this milestone was huge!
I’m reminded of my initial visit to outpatient therapy in NC,
the therapist wanted to see my condition, and asked me to stand up. I remember thinking,
“okay, I hope she’s prepared to catch me before I contact the floor.” (She
did)!
“He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth
strength.” (Isaiah 40:29)
Occupational Therapy: Relearning Basic Tasks
In occupational therapy, the focus was on fine motor skills, like arm movement,
finger movement, and learning to grasp objects. We worked on daily tasks such
as zipping up clothes, buttoning a shirt, and other similar activities. These
tasks were especially challenging because I had to do everything one-handed
with my left hand—the hand that had been my least dominant.
The therapists tried to make therapy as engaging as possible. For example, one
time in occupational therapy, we assembled banana pudding and made ham and
cheese croissants, which was both therapeutic and enjoyable. I also
participated in therapeutic recreation activities like painting flower pots,
which allowed me to create gifts for my family.
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13)
 |
| 2009, working my right arm; "R2-D2," the ventilator |
Speech Therapy: Finding My Voice Again
Speech therapy was about gaining muscle control of my mouth, throat, and
tongue. Even though I couldn’t speak due to my trach, my therapist would
practice mouth movements with me—working on saying words whether I could
produce sound or not. It was frustrating, but every little bit of progress was
significant. Sometimes, the therapist would temporarily "let down" my
trach, allowing me to try to speak faintly (a barely audible whisper), though the effort was exhausting.
“O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.” (Psalm 30:2)
The Struggle to Breathe Without a Ventilator
One of the most difficult and pivotal moments came when I had to learn how to
breathe on my own again. My respiratory therapist often referred to my
ventilator as "R2-D2" and was eager for the day I could get rid of
it. However, the head doctor didn’t believe I would be able to do without the
vent.
When he went on vacation, his assistant took over and decided to pull the
ventilator off me during the day to force me to breathe on my own. The basic
message was that I would either learn to breathe or I wouldn’t make it. I
hadn’t breathed on my own in almost three months, so it was a terrifying
experience.
My mom stayed by my side the entire time, coaching me through each breath.
“Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.” I spent the days trying to
breathe without the vent, and at night, they would hook me back up to it. After
several days, I spent a night in ICU to be monitored without the ventilator. By
the time the doctor returned, I no longer needed it. VICTORY!
“The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me
life.” (Job 33:4)
 |
| 2010, right arm movement exercises |
Regaining Movement in My Right Arm
While I was still in Georgia, I met with specialists about my right arm, which had not moved at all since the accident. They determined that I would likely need a nerve graft to restore movement. Upon returning to North Carolina, I prepared to undergo the procedure. However, while attending outpatient therapy, my occupational therapist noticed a flicker of movement in my bicep. From that small flicker, the arm slowly began working again—no surgery needed.
The progress was slow, but it was there. My right arm, though still weaker and less coordinated than my left, gradually became more functional. It was an incredible reminder of God’s faithfulness and the power of perseverance.
“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
The New Me: A Journey of Relearning
The truth is, after my accident, I had to relearn how to do almost everything.
Walking, breathing, talking, writing—it was all a process of starting from
scratch. Even now, my handwriting is nothing like it was before the accident.
It’s much more laborious, and the muscles required for writing get tired
quickly. Yet, with time and practice, my writing has improved, even if it will
never be the same.
I've been told that this is the "new me." And while I’ve had to
accept that, I can also see how God has carried me through this journey.
Through every challenge, every small victory, He has been there, providing
strength I didn’t know I had. My journey is a testament to His faithfulness,
and I am grateful for every step forward.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of
peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Final Thoughts
Recovery is a long and winding road, but with God’s grace, I’ve made it through
each day. Every challenge has taught me perseverance, and every triumph, no
matter how small, has been a gift. I hope that sharing my story encourages
others who are facing their own battles to keep moving forward, trusting that
God is with them every step of the way.
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am
helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise
him.” (Psalm 28:7)
“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is
there any thing too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27 is a powerful reminder
of God’s unlimited power and ability to work in any situation, no matter how
impossible it may seem. So, the question remains, is there?
Be encouraged. 🧡
No comments:
Post a Comment