Faith, Friendship, and a White Washcloth

Managing Saliva: A Journey of Adaptation and Unexpected Blessings

Some topics are tough, but sharing them can encourage others facing similar challenges. Today, I want to share my experience with saliva control—or rather, my lack of it—following my 2009 accident.

Yankauer Tip

No Swallowing, No Control

When I suffered my injuries, one of the immediate effects was losing my ability to swallow. This meant I had an overabundance of saliva that I could not control or keep in my mouth. I also had a near-constant nasal drip, making things even harder. The saliva and nasal fluid flowed almost non-stop, making it necessary to have a way to keep things sanitary.

To manage this, I relied on a Yankauer suction tool, a medical device designed to clear secretions. It became a constant companion in my daily routine. It’s typically attached to a suction hose and designed for efficient fluid removal. Its durable construction and ergonomic shape make it a reliable instrument in bedside care settings.

This device was something I had to use all the time. I had to change out the suction tip regularly, and nurses would sometimes need to replace the hose.

Fixed Suction Room Design

In old pictures of me in my wheelchair or hospital bed, you might see a white washcloth near my neck. That wasn’t just for comfort—it was to catch any extra saliva or nasal drip. Managing this at night was a constant battle. I would wake up to find my washcloth completely saturated, and this happened from the very first day and continued without stopping.

Then, one night, something changed. I woke up the next morning, and my nasal drip was completely gone. Just like that. I don’t know what happened, but I see it as an unexpected blessing from the Lord. I don’t know where all that liquid went, but I am beyond grateful that it stopped.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

Life at Home: Adjusting to New Routines

Once I returned home, I still relied on a suction system for a few months, but this time, I had a portable Yankauer Box that collected the liquid into a container. My mom had to empty it daily—sometimes even twice a day—because it would fill up quickly. To help with odor control (because let’s be honest, mouth fluids don’t smell great), we would pour a little Listerine into the container to keep things fresher.

Portable Yankauer Box Components

To help reduce my saliva production, I also wear a prescription Scopolamine patch. It’s a small patch I wear behind my ear, alternating sides every 72 hours. While it has helped tremendously, my saliva production still varies depending on the weather. When it’s rainy or snowy, my saliva tends to increase, which can make management a bit more challenging.

Lessons in Adaptation

Looking back, learning to manage my saliva was not just about medical devices and hygiene—it was about patience, adaptation, and persistence. It was frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes discouraging, but over time, I found ways to improve.

I hope that by sharing this, others who may be struggling with similar challenges can know they’re not alone. Some improvements happen slowly over time, and some—like my nasal drip disappearing—happen in an instant, reminding me that God is always at work, even in the smallest details.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

The Importance of Weight Shifting: Preventing Pressure Sores

Wheelchair Weight Shift, 2009

While learning to manage saliva was one challenge, preventing pressure sores was another crucial aspect of my recovery. I needed to know how to manage pressure on my body due to extended periods of lying in bed or sitting in a wheelchair. When mobility is limited, it’s crucial to be mindful of weight distribution to prevent pressure sores—a serious issue that can develop when too much pressure is placed on the same areas of skin for too long.

Weight Shifting in My Wheelchair

To prevent pressure sores, I had to perform weight shifts every 30 minutes while sitting in my wheelchair. This meant that every half hour, I would tilt my wheelchair backward, putting myself into a more horizontal position for one full minute. This simple action relieved the constant pressure on my buttocks and lower body, giving my skin a break before I returned to my upright position.

This routine was essential to my daily life. Without regular weight shifts, people who are constantly in a wheelchair or bedridden are at high risk for skin breakdown. Pressure sores can become extremely painful, take a long time to heal, and even lead to serious infections. That’s why caregivers and medical staff emphasize the importance of movement, even if it’s small adjustments like tilting in a chair or repositioning in bed.

Repositioning in the Hospital: No Such Thing as Undisturbed Sleep

While in the hospital, I couldn’t perform weight shifts on my own while lying in bed, so the nurses took on that responsibility. Every four hours, they would come to reposition me—sometimes moving me onto my back, then four hours later shifting me to my right side, propping me up with pillows and blankets, and then next time moving me to my left side.

This wasn’t just during the day—it happened throughout the night as well. So, as you can imagine, getting a full night of undisturbed sleep in the hospital was impossible. Just as I’d start to drift into deeper rest, it would be time for another repositioning. While frustrating at times, I knew it was necessary to protect my skin and prevent pressure sores from forming.

Visitors

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Why Weight Shifting Matters

For anyone with limited mobility, whether due to an injury, surgery, or a medical condition, being proactive about weight shifts is key. Caregivers play a vital role in helping those who cannot shift their weight on their own, ensuring their loved ones don’t experience painful skin damage.

Looking back, I’m thankful that I was taught the importance of weight shifting early on in my recovery. Though it was a simple action, it was a necessary step in maintaining my health and preventing further complications.

The Power of Presence: Family Visits and Support

One of the greatest blessings during my recovery was the unwavering support of my family, friends, and coworkers. Being over four hours away from home at Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia, I knew visits weren’t always easy. Yet, despite the distance, my family and loved ones made the effort to visit as often as possible, some even every other weekend, strictly keeping to their visitation routine.

Shepherd Center didn’t restrict visitation, allowing my family to visit freely. That policy made a world of difference in my healing process. The emotional support, the simple presence of a familiar face, and the reminder that I was not forgotten helped me push through even the toughest days.

A Wall of Encouragement

Besides visits, I received countless cards and letters full of prayers and encouragement. My mom taped them onto the hospital wall, and I remember how they covered an entire section of the room—a visual testament to the love and encouragement pouring in from all directions. All the colors of the rainbow with hand written, heart-felt notes. I wish I had taken a photo of it, but I will never forget how that wall of words lifted my spirits.

A Community of Support Online

In addition to physical visits and mail, my mom kept a daily online journal on a website called CaringBridge. She updated it nearly every evening with details about my progress, and then she would sit beside me, reading aloud the comments and messages people left. Many faithful visitors left encouraging words and prayers online, even if they couldn’t visit in person.

Why Support Matters

This taught me that even small gestures make a big difference. Whether it's visiting someone in the hospital, sending a card, or even leaving a kind message online, those simple acts can uplift a weary heart.

The Bible tells us in Matthew 25:36, “I was sick, and ye visited me.” We are called to care for and encourage those in difficult circumstances, whether they are sick, injured, or facing hardship. I am forever grateful for those who showed up for me—both physically and in spirit—during one of the hardest times in my life.

“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

If you ever wonder whether your kindness matters, let me assure you—it does.

Just as God provided relief from my nasal drip overnight, He also surrounded me with a loving support system during my recovery. Through every challenge—big or small—God’s presence and the love of those around me carried me through.

 Be encouraged. 🧡

                                🎵Amazing Grace My Chains are Gone

Will I eat by mouth again?

Ready to go with my lunch box.

One of the most common questions I get is: "When will you eat by mouth again?" or "When do you think that will happen?" After over 15 years of using a feeding tube, I understand why people ask. So, I’d like to take a moment to answer it fully.

My Journey with a Feeding Tube

Questions showcase a natural curiosity; hopefully I can provide answers that may help. Since July 2009, all my food, drink, and medications have been taken through a feeding tube. I don’t consume anything by mouth—not even water. However, because I love to cook and bake, I do taste food. But when I do, I have to be extremely careful to spit it out.

This caution is necessary because my esophagus does not function the way it should. Normally, when you swallow, food travels down the esophagus into the stomach. If something "goes down the wrong way," your body recognizes it and triggers a cough reflex to protect your airway. But in my case, I wouldn’t feel it if food went into my trachea and toward my lungs. That’s a major risk, as aspiration can lead to serious complications.

Even though this has been my reality for years, I hold on to faith and trust that God’s plan is perfect. "For with God nothing shall be impossible." (Luke 1:37)

The Swallow Studies

Over the years, I’ve worked with speech therapists and undergone numerous swallow studies to evaluate my ability to swallow safely. These tests involve eating different textures—like applesauce, yogurt, or ice chips—coated with barium, a substance that shows up on X-rays. As I swallow, the X-ray machine captures real-time images, tracking whether the food moves safely down my esophagus into my stomach. These swallow studies provide visual answers to lingering questions.

swallow study real-time x-ray example

I have tried every technique in the book—tucking my chin, turning my head, adjusting my posture—yet every test has shown the same result: only a small trickle of liquid reaches my stomach. After so many swallow studies that I’ve lost count, the outcome has remained consistent.

Though the tests haven't shown significant progress, I am reminded of Hebrews 11:1, which says: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

I may not see results yet, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t coming.

Medical Interventions: The ENT Procedures

In addition to speech therapy, I also pursued another avenue: working with an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) physician to explore a possible procedure to help.

The procedure involved going under general anesthesia so the doctor could inject Botox into my upper esophageal sphincter muscle. The idea was that Botox would relax the muscle for three to six months, potentially allowing for improved swallowing. However, in my case, the effects never even lasted the full three months.

While under anesthesia, the doctor would also use a tool to stretch the esophageal opening. Over several months—and even years—I underwent this procedure multiple times. Each time, the doctor used a slightly larger gauge tool, eventually reaching the size of a garden hose in diameter.

Despite all of these efforts, the procedures did not yield the results we hoped for. I don’t know why they didn’t work, but I do know that I have not lost hope. Romans 8:28 reminds me: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

throat stretching procedure

The only lingering effect of those procedures was a sore throat for a couple of days—nothing unbearable.

The Possibility of Eating by Mouth Again

I have been told that medically, there is no reason I shouldn’t be able to eat by mouth in the future. The ability to swallow is controlled by a nerve, and nerves do regenerate—but they do so slowly.

So, will it happen? I don’t know. And I don’t know when. But I do know this: These setbacks have not discouraged me. My feeding tube has not stopped me from living my life fully.

In the meantime, I have many dinner invitations waiting for me when that day comes! I have been blessed with family and friends who have promised to shower me with meals when I can finally eat by mouth again. I may be set for weeks—if not months—of home-cooked food from loved ones! That thought alone brings joy to my heart.

I hold onto Jeremiah 29:11, which says: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Eating Is a Social Experience, and I Love Being Included

At first, I know some people might feel uncomfortable eating around me because they know I eat differently and don’t want to make me feel left out. But the truth is—it doesn’t bother me at all! Everyone has to eat, and I actually enjoy being included in meals, even if I’m not eating in the same way.

Eating is such a social experience, and I love the fellowship that comes with it. I don’t mind being invited to restaurants or going out to eat with friends. The only difference is that I can’t be quite as spontaneous when it comes to food.

If I know ahead of time that I’ll be out for a while, I pack a lunchbox with my food and tools to administer it. When I meet someone at a restaurant, I either eat beforehand or bring my food with me if I think I’ll need it. But if I don’t have anything packed, that doesn’t mean I can’t still join in and enjoy the company!

how the esophagus stretching works

This experience has taught me a lot about planning, but it has also taught me about the importance of inclusion. Even though I eat differently, I still love to sit at the table and share in the joy of a meal. Psalm 133:1 says: "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!"

At the end of the day, it’s not just about food—it’s about the people, the conversations, and the memories made around the table.

I always love when I cook specific dishes or bake to share with my family. The joy of seeing them enjoy my food and hearing their feedback makes me feel included in the experience, even if I’m not eating it myself. Family gatherings that revolve around meals have never made me feel out of place. I simply pack my food and eat when everyone else is eating—just in my own way. It’s understood and expected, so it doesn’t feel like a big deal.

My family has always found creative ways to make sure I feel celebrated, like when my family found a unique way to celebrate my birthday. Instead of a traditional cake, they built a "cake" made entirely of useful items—pens, highlighters, sticky notes, spatulas, and washcloths. It was such a thoughtful and creative gesture! I’ve also received a beautiful cake made of flowers before. These moments remind me that there are always ways to make adjustments that accommodate my needs while still being part of the celebration.

esophagus stretching gauges

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1)

I do have to report that there has been no significant change in my swallowing ability—at least not yet. But just because there’s no new update doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. I’m also not brushing it off, but it’s not something that consumes my thoughts, if that makes sense. It simply is what it is.

The truth is, I try to be content with where I am while still striving to move forward in my recovery. I’m not stagnant in any way when it comes to my inability to eat by mouth. I don’t let it define me, but I also don’t ignore it. I’m learning to live in the balance—pushing forward while choosing contentment.

Final Thoughts

I appreciate the kindness and curiosity behind the question, and I hope this provides some clarity. If there ever comes a day when I can safely enjoy a meal again, I’ll be sure to share that moment. Until then, I’ll keep cooking, baking, and living life to the fullest—one tube-fed meal at a time!

No matter what lies ahead, I rest in Psalm 34:8, which says: "O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him."

My circumstances have shaped how I think, my perseverance and faith. I may not taste food the way others do, but I have surely tasted and seen that the Lord is good. And that is more satisfying than any meal!

[These posts offer more information regarding my feeding tube and swallowing ability. My Daily Bread: what not swallowing means and Sustained by God: my feeding tube life]

Share, are you content?

Be encouraged. 🧡

Shaky Hands, Steady Faith

the alphabet board

While perusing through pictures of my recovery from 2009, I was reminded of something I endure that you may not know about: ataxia. Ataxia is a neurological condition that affects muscle control and coordination. Ataxia can lead to problems with balance, walking, speech, and fine motor skills. It’s often caused by damage to the cerebellum (the part of the brain responsible for coordination) or other parts of the nervous system. It can impact basic movements that many people take for granted.

One aspect of ataxia that affects me significantly is how it impacts my eyes. Nystagmus is a condition where the eyes make uncontrolled, repetitive movements, which can result in reduced vision or depth perception. These movements may occur side-to-side (horizontal nystagmus), up-and-down (vertical nystagmus), or in a circular pattern (rotary nystagmus).

I sometimes feel my eyeballs shaking vertically. (You wouldn't notice). This sensation can make me feel less confident in tasks such as driving at night or watching a movie with subtitles. When my eyes aren’t cooperating, I have to be extra cautious and alert during these activities, relying on prayer and God’s guidance to calm my nerves and keep me safe.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)

The Challenge of Communication and Everyday Tasks

One vivid memory of my early recovery is the time when I relied on an alphabet board to communicate. With a tracheostomy preventing oral communication and my right arm unable to move, my only option was to use my left hand to point to letters on the board. However, my left hand was not my dominant one and was also affected by ataxia.

Playing Connect 4 with a therapist, 2009

What should have been a simple task—pointing to a letter—often took several minutes. My hand would shake uncontrollably, moving in directions my brain didn’t intend. It felt like a constant battle to guide my hand to the right spot, but with determination and patience, I would eventually succeed.

This struggle wasn’t just limited to communication. Activities like using a spoon to pick up marbles or beads for crafts were equally challenging. Many times, I ended up spilling the items all over the table or floor. Even today, I still encounter difficulty with fine motor tasks like picking up coins.

Another memory that stood out to me was my attempts at playing a simple game like Connect 4. Early in my recovery, two games could take me up to two hours because of my lack of muscle control. Placing each piece where I wanted it to go required intense focus, determination, and countless attempts.

Imagine trying to thread a needle while wearing thick gloves or trying to walk on ice without slipping—that’s what it felt like to guide my hand to the right spot or to place a game piece where I wanted it. My brain would give the command, but my body would hesitate, stutter, or outright rebel. It was exhausting, humiliating, and humbling all at once.

I’ll never forget the first time I completed a game of Connect 4 in under an hour. I was so proud of myself because I played my brother—a very worthy opponent—and beat him. (He better not have let me win). That victory remains a vivid memory.

, 

Playing Connect 4 with my brother, 2009

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped." (Psalm 28:7)

The Gift of Patience and Encouragement

Seeing these photos reminded me not just of my struggles but also of the patience and kindness shown to me by my therapists and nurses. They never got angry or frustrated at my lack of ability. Instead, they displayed the most incredible patience, encouraging me to try again, even if it was the fifth time I spilled beads on the floor or the two hours it took to play one game of Connect 4.

This reminds me of the special, unique qualities God gives each of us. These caregivers were chosen for their roles, and their patience and encouragement were a reflection of God's grace. When I wanted to quit, their words and actions reminded me to persevere.

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." (Galatians 6:9)

Faith Through Frustration

These challenges could have left me feeling defeated, but instead, they taught me the value of perseverance and faith. I learned to rely on God’s strength when mine was insufficient. Each small victory—whether it was finally pointing to a letter or completing a simple task—was a testament to His faithfulness and the strength He gives us to endure.

I share this part of my journey to remind you that God is present even in our struggles. When life feels overwhelming, and we face what seem like insurmountable challenges, He provides the grace and strength we need to press on.

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Reflection on God’s Plan

Looking back, I can see how God was shaping my heart during this process. He wasn’t just healing my body—He was teaching me patience, humility, and a deeper reliance on Him. Every shaky step and every shaky hand was an opportunity to lean into His strength and trust that He was holding me up.

Even now, I still experience ataxia and nystagmus, and I don’t know if they will ever completely disappear. However, you wouldn’t notice unless you knew what to look for—or observed me closely (but don’t stare too long!). Thankfully, there are no obvious outward signs, and over the years, I’ve come to accept that. I believe God is still perfecting His plan for my life, even if it hasn’t fully unfolded yet. His timing is perfect, even when I wish things would happen faster. This journey was unexpected; I didn’t wake up that morning in 2009 knowing my life would be forever changed. But God knew. He sees the end from the beginning.

In my humanness, I may not fully understand His reasons, but I know I must stay encouraged. There have been many moments where I felt distraught, tired, and ready to quit, but I reminded myself that I still have a role to play. I cannot sit idly by, waiting for improvement without putting in the effort. God honors hard work, and I believe that when you’ve done all you can, He steps in to give you the strength to go a little further.

This journey has taught me that while the road may be difficult, it is not without purpose. Each challenge has been an opportunity to grow, to trust, and to persevere. God has been with me every step of the way, and I trust that He will continue to guide me as His perfect plan unfolds.

I do have things that bother me because, even though I try not to compare myself to others—or even to my past self—sometimes it's just a human thing to do. But one thing I’ve learned is that with God, nothing is impossible.

There were times, because of my injuries and conditions, that I wondered if I would ever be able to do certain things—like drive. And while no one has directly said it to me, I’m sure that some people looking at my situation have had their doubts about what I could accomplish. But I have never let that stop me from trying.

I know myself. I am smart, aware, and in tune with my own capabilities. I also know when something doesn’t feel like the right time. But when I set my mind to something, I pursue it.

I pursued the goal of driving.

I pursued the goal of taking a road trip.

I pursued the goal of being comfortable using the shooting range.

In each of these, I took the time to learn all I could—to be informed, to understand the challenges, and to figure out ways to overcome them. And by doing so, I have achieved things that once seemed uncertain.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7)

I don’t say this to boast but to encourage you. What seems impossible is only impossible if you allow yourself to believe it is. That doesn’t mean the challenges aren’t real. I would never diminish anyone’s struggles. But I also believe that, with determination, faith, and a willingness to adapt, there is often a way forward.

If you’re facing something that feels impossible right now, I hope this reminds you that you are capable of more than you think. And with God, nothing is out of reach.

What are your pursuits? Is God one of them?

Be encouraged. 🧡

                                                    

Dreams, Determination & Purpose

In August 2009, my life was in a fragile state after my motorcycle accident. Among my injuries was a fractured spine at T7, requiring a six-hour surgery to meticulously place the fragmented pieces of my vertebrae back where they belonged. The surgeon secured everything with two 9-to-10-inch titanium rods and screws—a procedure that was critical to my recovery.

The Significance of the TLSO Brace

After the surgery, I was told I’d need to wear a TLSO brace, commonly called a "turtle shell," to keep my torso stable and allow my vertebrae to heal properly. TLSO stands for Thoracolumbosacral Orthosis:

• Thoraco refers to the thoracic spine (upper and mid-back).
• Lumbar refers to the lower back.
• Sacral refers to the sacrum, the area at the base of the spine.
• Orthosis refers to a brace or support device.

This hard plastic shell would encase my body from just below my collarbone to just above my hips, preventing any movement or twisting that could jeopardize my recovery.

My TLSO Brace

Choosing the Butterfly Pattern

I had the chance to choose the color and design of my brace, and I selected purple with a butterfly pattern. Butterflies are a symbol of transformation, and at that time, I didn’t realize just how meaningful that choice would become.

The brace became an essential part of my wardrobe for six weeks. It was worn over my clothes, snapped together in the front and back, and only removed for sponge baths and clothing changes. While it limited my mobility, I wasn’t moving much during that period, so it wasn’t as intrusive as it could have been. However, following the doctors’ instructions to the letter was crucial, and I took the responsibility seriously.

Butterflies at the Shepherd Center

When I was transferred to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta for rehabilitation, I noticed something remarkable. Many patient rooms had ceiling tiles decorated with artwork, and butterflies were a recurring theme. It felt significant to me, as if God was affirming the metaphor of my choice. A butterfly begins as a caterpillar, confined in its chrysalis during its transformation. Once it emerges, it is forever changed and can never return to what it once was.

Spiritual Reflection: Transformation Through Faith

This resonated deeply with my journey. My accident and recovery were my own metamorphosis, a process that transformed me in every way—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As Romans 12:2 reminds us: "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

At around four weeks post-surgery, my doctors evaluated whether I still needed the brace. Their assessment was clear: I moved enough to require wearing it for the full six weeks. Though it was cumbersome at times, it was a vital tool in my healing process, reminding me daily to remain patient and trust the journey.

Looking back, that purple butterfly brace was more than just a medical necessity; it became a symbol of hope and a constant reminder that I was undergoing a transformation. Just as 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

Like a butterfly, I would emerge stronger, with a new sense of purpose and a story of God’s faithfulness to share with the world.

Blurred Reality in the ICU

During my time in the ICU in North Carolina, much of what happened remains a blur. I wasn’t coherent and don’t remember much from those weeks. The line between dreams and reality often felt indistinguishable, and I had to ask if certain events actually happened or if they were figments of my imagination. But there are some dreams from that time I vividly remember.

A Recurring Dream of Comfort

Now, I’m not saying all dreams are prophetic. However, the Bible teaches us that God can use dreams to communicate, guide, and comfort His people. Joseph’s dreams in Genesis and the visions of Daniel come to mind. Whether or not my dreams were directly from God, I cannot help but feel they were meant to encourage me during one of the most challenging times in my life.

One recurring dream stands out to me, particularly as I reflect on my journey. In this dream, I was experiencing heat—something that makes sense now, as it was July, and the hospital’s beautiful, large windows let in the summer sun. I also underwent countless MRIs, CAT scans, and other imaging procedures, all of which might explain the sensations I felt in the dream.

Symbolism and Interpretation

But what truly struck me was this: in the dream, Jake, my husband, would take my hand. Together, we would float off the ground, rising toward the sky. As we ascended, I would suddenly hit an invisible barrier, bouncing back down to earth. Jake, however, would continue upward.

At the time, I didn’t understand it, but as I’ve reflected on that dream, I see it as a source of comfort. To me, it symbolized Jake waiting for me and moving on to heaven. The fact that I could not pass through the barrier, no matter how hard I tried, spoke volumes: it wasn’t my time to go.

USS NC, Wilmington, April 2009

Finding Renewed Purpose

This realization brought me peace and a renewed sense of purpose. It was as if God was reminding me through this dream that I needed to focus on the work ahead. It wasn’t my time to leave; it was my time to live. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11).

From that moment on, I knew I needed to do everything in my power to aid in my recovery. I needed to make every effort to regain my strength, to keep moving forward, and to embrace the life God had preserved for me.

Living with Purpose: A Life Preserved by God

This dream, whether inspired by my own subconscious or divinely given, served as a pivotal moment in my journey. It helped me shift my perspective and recognize that even in the darkest times, God provides glimpses of hope and reassurance. As Job 33:15-16 reminds us, “In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed; Then he openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction.”

For anyone going through hardship, I encourage you to look for those moments of reassurance, no matter how small. Whether they come in a dream, a kind word, or an unexpected blessing, they are reminders that God is near, guiding you and strengthening you for the journey ahead.

As I look back now, that dream was more than just a fleeting image in my mind—it was a catalyst for action and a reminder that my story wasn’t over. “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord” (Psalm 118:17).

Initially, I remember praying in my spirit that I would die. But in that moment of prayer, I felt God speak to me, saying, "You will not die." That revelation changed everything for me. So I pressed on, determined to get busy living, trusting that God still had a purpose for me.

The Bible tells us that we all have an appointment with death. It is not a respecter of persons; it can come for anyone at any time. You don’t have to reach a certain age or be in a specific situation for death to make its appearance. That is a sobering reality to reflect on.

This truth challenges us to make the most of the time we have, living without regrets. It’s important that we can feel confident in the lives we lead and the example we share with others.

How are you fully living?

Be encouraged. 🧡