The Journey Continues

Before I get into all of that, I have to say that this has been a particularly trying week—not necessarily because of one specific thing, but just life in general. We all have those weeks when things seem to pile up, when our minds are full, and when we are trying to keep up with everything happening around us. I certainly have had one of those weeks.

Sometimes, in the middle of trying to manage all the things life brings our way, a conversation or a new piece of information comes along that makes us stop and think. That is what happened recently, and I wanted to share it because it may shed some light on a few things I have been trying to understand about my own recovery.

Another part of my ongoing journey toward improvement. My weekly time in the saddle continues to challenge me, encourage me, and remind me that there are always new goals to work toward. Progress comes in many different forms!

As many of you know, my journey since the motorcycle accident in 2009 has involved a tremendous amount of rehabilitation, physical challenges, and learning to live with the changes that followed. Recovery has never been a straight line. There have been milestones worth celebrating, difficult days that required patience, and seasons when I have had to learn to approach familiar challenges in new ways.

Even after all these years, I am still looking for ways to improve my movement, coordination, swallowing, and overall quality of life. I believe there is value in continuing to learn about my body and asking questions when something doesn't seem to have a clear explanation.

This past week, I had a session with a massage therapist I have been seeing for the past few months. Our work has focused on addressing some of the physical issues I continue to experience from the accident, helping me work toward smoother movement and responses, and supporting the different goals I have established for my recovery.

During this particular session, our conversation took an interesting turn. Something she shared with me introduced a possibility I had never heard of or even considered before.

That possibility involved the vagus nerve.

A Conversation That Introduced a New Possibility

I have recently received an EOE diagnosis, which stands for eosinophilic esophagitis. This is a condition in which certain white blood cells, called eosinophils, build up in the esophagus and cause inflammation. I have also been dealing with other medical concerns, and together these findings have given me more to investigate.

Most importantly, I have been trying to understand what these findings might mean in relation to the swallowing difficulties I have experienced since my accident.

My swallowing problems have been especially challenging because they have persisted for so many years. Recent evaluations have continued to raise questions about the coordination and function involved in swallowing. My upper esophageal sphincter (UES), the muscle that helps control the passage of food and liquid from the throat into the esophagus, has not been opening as it should.

The medical professionals I have consulted have discussed the possibility of a neurological component to these difficulties.

Given the nature of the injuries I sustained in my accident, that is certainly an avenue worth investigating. My recovery involved significant neurological challenges, and even now, there are things about the way my body responds and functions that I am still trying to understand.

One of the reasons the conversation with my massage therapist caught my attention was learning that the vagus nerve originates in the brainstem, an area that has been part of my own medical history. It travels through the neck and into the chest and abdomen, connecting with several systems involved in important bodily functions, including swallowing and digestion.

Could there be a connection worth investigating? Could some of the difficulties I experience be related to how these neurological pathways communicate with the muscles and organs involved?

I don't have those answers. But I find myself asking different questions now, and sometimes that is where the next step in understanding begins.

There is something interesting about living with a condition for so many years and still discovering things you have never considered. You would think that after all the appointments, evaluations, procedures, and conversations with medical professionals, I would have exhausted the possibilities of what might be contributing to my difficulties. Yet here I am, seventeen years later, learning about a nerve that plays a role in several of the very functions I struggle with.

What caught my attention wasn't simply learning about another nerve in the body. It was realizing how closely its responsibilities relate to the areas where I continue to experience difficulties. It made me wonder how many pieces of the puzzle might still be unexplored.

What Is the Vagus Nerve?

The vagus nerve is one of the major nerves involved in communication between the brain and the body. It begins in the brainstem, passes through the neck, and extends into the chest and abdomen, sending branches to several important organs.

Think about how many things our bodies do without us having to consciously tell them to happen. Our heart beats, our digestive system processes food, and our bodies continually communicate information between organs and the brain. We don't have to stop and think about every individual process.

The vagus nerve is one of the important pathways involved in that communication. It carries information in both directions, from the brain to the body and from the body back to the brain.

It plays a significant role in the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps regulate many of the body's automatic functions, including aspects of heart rate and digestion.

What particularly interested me was its involvement in swallowing and the muscles of the throat and larynx. Branches of the vagus nerve help coordinate movements needed for swallowing, voice production, and airway protection.

These are areas that have been part of my ongoing challenges.

Learning about these responsibilities made me pause. Here is a nerve that connects the brainstem with so many systems throughout the body, including areas that are directly relevant to some of the challenges I have been trying to understand, yet I had never heard it previously mentioned in relation to my situation.

It is fascinating to consider how something we rarely think about can have such an important role in everyday functions.

Could the vagus nerve be part of the picture in my situation?

I do not know. That is a question for further investigation, not a conclusion I can draw from reading about the nerve's functions. Nevertheless, I find it encouraging to learn more about the systems involved.

Could the Nervous System Be Playing a Role?

Another part of our conversation concerned the body's response to stress and trauma.

Our nervous system helps us respond to danger. When we encounter a perceived threat, the body can activate what we commonly call the fight-or-flight response. This prepares the body to respond to a situation that it perceives as threatening.

But our bodies also have systems that help regulate us when that immediate response is no longer necessary. The parasympathetic nervous system plays an important role in allowing the body to rest, recover, and carry out functions such as digestion. The vagus nerve is a major part of this system.

What my massage therapist brought to my attention was the possibility that the nervous system's regulation of certain functions might be relevant to my situation.

She wondered whether the area involved in digestion and the esophagus could be responding in a way that affects muscle function. The possibility she raised was that some aspect of the body's protective response might be contributing to the difficulties I experience.

It was an interesting thought, especially because I have spent so much time trying to understand why my upper esophageal sphincter does not open properly.

I found myself thinking about how the body responds to trauma and how complicated those responses can be. While there is no evidence yet that my swallowing difficulties are caused by a prolonged protective response, the relationship between neurological function and swallowing is something I want to understand better.

There is an important distinction here. The vagus nerve is involved in swallowing and digestive function, but that does not establish that my esophagus is clamping down because my body is stuck in a protective state. Nor does it mean that relaxation techniques can correct a problem caused by nerve injury or impaired muscle coordination.

My swallowing difficulties could involve several factors, including neurological dysfunction, muscle coordination, and the inflammation associated with my esophageal condition. Determining how those factors relate to one another requires medical evaluation.

Still, I believe there is value in this newly suggested possibility.

If the nervous system is contributing to my difficulties, I want to understand how. If another explanation is more likely, I want to understand that, too.

My goal is not to settle on an explanation simply because it sounds promising. My goal is to keep learning and make informed decisions about my care.

Humming, Singing, and Deep Breathing

Another part of our conversation involved simple activities that may influence how the body responds to stress.

My active participation would include humming, singing, and deep breathing as things worth considering. These activities are often discussed in connection with relaxation and nervous system regulation. Slow, controlled breathing can help some people feel calmer, while humming and singing involve coordination of breathing, the vocal cords, and muscles in the throat and larynx.

The idea interested me for several reasons.

Interestingly, singing and breathing are things we often take for granted. We don't typically think about all the coordination involved in producing a sound, controlling our breath, or moving the muscles that allow us to speak or sing.

Yet these activities involve several of the same general structures that have been part of my swallowing challenges.

I began thinking about how these activities might fit into the other exercises I am already doing. I have been working on specific swallowing exercises and techniques recommended by my speech therapist, and I am always interested in learning whether there are other appropriate ways to support that work.

Breathing exercises are already familiar to me as part of the work I do to improve my physical function. The possibility of incorporating humming or singing into an appropriate routine gave me something new to consider.

Of course, there is a difference between an activity that promotes relaxation and one that directly improves a neurological swallowing disorder. I don't know whether these suggestions will make a difference in my particular situation, but they are things I intend to employ- it can’t hurt to try.

Sometimes the simplest suggestions lead us to investigate things we might otherwise have overlooked.

Continuing to Search for Answers

One thing I have learned throughout this journey is that the absence of an immediate answer does not mean there is nothing left to learn.

I have lived with these swallowing difficulties for many years. I have undergone evaluations and treatments, and I continue to work toward understanding what is happening in my body.

My recent appointments have brought new information, including my EOE diagnosis and continued concerns about the function of my upper esophageal sphincter. Each finding needs to be considered carefully. Eosinophilic esophagitis can cause inflammation and other esophageal problems, but it does not automatically explain every swallowing difficulty. Likewise, identifying a possible neurological component does not tell us precisely which nerve pathways or muscles may be involved.

There is still much to understand.

I am grateful for the professionals who take the time to listen, explain, and help me explore appropriate options. I am also learning to appreciate the value of asking questions outside the narrow boundaries of what I already know.

That does not mean accepting every theory as fact. It means remaining open to reasonable possibilities while allowing evidence and qualified medical guidance to help determine what deserves further attention.

For me, that is an important part of advocating for my own health.

I want to keep learning. I want to keep asking questions. And I want to keep looking for ways to improve, even when progress takes longer than I would like.

Sometimes the Next Answer Begins With a New Question

There have been many times throughout my recovery when I thought I understood something, only to discover there was another layer I hadn't considered. Sometimes the information comes from a medical appointment. Sometimes it comes from a conversation with someone who sees something from a different perspective. And sometimes it comes from simply taking the time to research and learn.

I have learned that advocating for my health means being willing to ask questions, even when I don't know where those questions might lead.

I also recognize that not every possibility will turn into an answer, and not every suggestion will be appropriate for my circumstances. I have to be willing to listen, research, consult the right professionals, and exercise patience along the way.

But I don't want to become so accustomed to living with something that I stop looking for ways to improve it.

Seventeen years is a long time to live with certain limitations. Yet I still believe there is value in pursuing improvement, even when the progress is small or the answers take longer than expected.

There is something humbling about realizing how much we can learn about our own bodies, even after years of living with a particular condition.

The more I learn about the human body, the more I am reminded of just how intricately we are created. There are systems working together every moment of every day that we rarely stop to consider. Even something as seemingly simple as swallowing involves an extraordinary amount of coordination between the brain, nerves, muscles, and other structures.

Psalm 139:14 "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

I don't understand all the complexities of how my body works, and I certainly don't understand everything that has happened since my accident. But I am continually reminded that there is so much more to our bodies than what we can see or explain.

My faith has been an important part of this journey from the beginning. It reminds me that I do not have to understand every detail of the road ahead to keep taking the next step. I can acknowledge what I do not know without giving up hope, and I can continue seeking answers while trusting God with the things I cannot control.

Proverbs 3:5–6 "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

That passage does not promise that every question will be answered when we want it answered. Instead, it reminds me where to place my trust as I continue walking through uncertainty.

I certainly do not have all the answers. I am sharing this conversation because it gave me a new subject to investigate and a new possibility to discuss with the professionals involved in my care.

Perhaps the vagus nerve will prove to be an important part of understanding my situation. Perhaps it will lead to other questions that help clarify what is happening. Or perhaps the explanation will be something different altogether.

I do not know yet.

What I do know is that I am still here, still learning, and still working toward improvement.

I am thankful for every person who has encouraged me, prayed for me, shared information, or simply taken the time to ask how I am doing. Your interest and support mean more than you may realize.

The journey is not finished.

And neither am I.

 Be encouraged. 🧡