In 2009, after my motorcycle accident, I was initially confined to a wheelchair due to a brain stem injury that affected my balance and muscle control. My journey toward recovery has been long and challenging. This post chronicles my progression from being dependent on a wheelchair to using a walker, and ultimately, to moments of walking independently.
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| Tilt Table at Therapy, GA 2009 |
The Initial Struggles
When I first arrived at Shepherd Center Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, I lacked the strength and coordination to propel myself in a wheelchair. For the first part of my rehabilitation, I had to be pushed, which was a humbling experience. Each day, I participated in therapy from 8 AM to 4 PM, beginning by using a tilt table to work toward achieving a vertical position. Gradually, I made progress, eventually reaching the point where I could maintain a 90-degree angle, without passing out.
No Rest for the Weary: Transitioning to Outpatient
Therapy
After my therapy at Shepherd Center ended in February 2010,
I returned to North Carolina and immediately began outpatient therapy. This
therapy focused on sit-to-stand exercises and strength training. It was
crucial, as I spent the next one and a half years primarily in a wheelchair.
Eventually, I gained enough strength and stability to transition to using a
walker. This transition was laborious; it was more than just physically
exhausting—it required constant mental calculation. I couldn’t use just any walker;
it had to have four wheels. The kind with only two wheels in the back wouldn’t
work for me.
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| Arboretum, April 2017 |
Even with the right walker, every surface became a new
obstacle. Transitioning from carpet to linoleum was a balancing act, and rugs
were the worst. Every time I came across one, it felt like navigating a
minefield, hoping I wouldn’t trip or catch the wheels. The little lips or
ledges between different types of flooring? I had to be extremely cautious, as
they were enough to throw off my balance.
Outdoor surfaces brought their own set of challenges. Gravel
was impossible—the wheels would get stuck, making it unsafe to move. Grass,
dirt, and asphalt were easier, but I still had to focus on every step. Even
relatively smooth ground presented difficulty.
Before my accident, walking was automatic. Now, it required
focus and strategy, like learning a new skill. However, unlike discovering
something new, this learning came from necessity.
One of the hardest parts wasn’t just the physical challenges
but the mental toll. I often felt ashamed for being slow or for holding others
up. Even though people didn’t mind waiting or including me, there was a
lingering sense of embarrassment. I hated being the last one, the person
everyone had to adjust their pace for. My pride wrestled with my reality—and it
still does sometimes.
In moments of frustration, I reminded myself of the bigger
picture. God was teaching me patience, not just with the process but with
myself. His grace met me in my slow progress, reminding me that my worth wasn’t
tied to how fast I could walk or how quickly I could keep up with others. It
was a hard lesson to accept, but over time, I learned to see the beauty in my
slower pace. With every step, I was moving forward, and that was worth
celebrating. My journey, though different, was a testament to God’s work in my
life.
The Shift to Independent Walking
From 2011 to about 2015, my walker was with me full-time.
But slowly, I began to notice small changes in my strength and stability.
Gradually, I started walking independently—without the aid of my walker—at
times. I credit part of that progress to my private homeschool, which provided
a flexible environment where I could challenge myself with mobility.
When I say "walking independently," I mean walking
completely unassisted—no walker, no person beside me—just me on my own two
feet. Of course, even now, how I walk depends on where I am. In tight or
crowded spaces, I might hold onto furniture or use the wall for balance. For
instance, at church, I can walk independently by holding onto the pews as I
make my way to my seat or around the sanctuary.
There are also moments when I walk without holding onto
anything at all. This happens in larger, open spaces where I feel more
confident, like at my gym or when browsing bigger stores. However, even in
those settings, I must stay mindful of my surroundings and how far I’m walking.
When I began driving in 2023, I tried to park in handicap
spots, which are usually close enough that I can walk into the store. If one
isn’t available, I park near a shopping cart return, grab a cart as I exit my
vehicle, and use it to guide me into the store. Inside, the shopping cart
becomes my support.
While I still rely on assistance at times, the fact that I
can walk independently in certain settings has been a huge milestone. Each step
is a victory, reminding me how far I’ve come. Though my journey looks different
from others, I’m grateful for the progress.
The Challenge of Walking on Gravel: A Deeper Glimpse
The video clip below, which I hope you’ll take a moment to
watch, shows one of the MOST vulnerable parts of my journey. In the video, I’m
walking independently on my gravel driveway. The terrain beneath my feet is
always moving, with little hills and ruts hidden beneath the gravel, making it
unpredictable.
Outdoor terrain like this is the most challenging for me to
navigate, and as you can see, it’s no small feat. I feel VERY self-conscious knowing
others are watching, even though I know I shouldn’t be. It’s a battle between
recognizing my progress and feeling vulnerable in front of others.
This video shows just a glimpse of my ability to walk
independently. Indoors or on flat surfaces, it’s much easier and looks smoother. But the clip
shows the reality of uneven terrain, and I hope it helps you understand more of
what I face.
“And He said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee,
for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Most gladly therefore will I
rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2
Corinthians 12:9)
Every step I take, whether on smooth ground or rough gravel,
is a reminder of God’s faithfulness and my own perseverance. Sharing this part
of my journey wasn’t easy, but I hope it will inspire others.
Inside: Another Milestone
In the next video, I'm sharing another milestone in my journey:
walking independently inside my home. You’ll also see me carrying a handful of
wet laundry—a feat in itself. For a long time, I couldn’t even imagine holding
something while walking, but here I am doing just that. I can now also walk and
talk a little on the phone, which was previously impossible for me.
I want to clarify, I do use my walker in public, like when shopping somewhere they don't have a shopping cart because I cannot carry anything for an extended period while walking/balancing too.
As I watch this video, I'm aware of every flaw in my
walking. Those imperfections make me hesitant to share this vulnerable part of
my recovery. Yet, I believe the video offers a clearer picture of where I am
now—something words alone can’t fully capture. This isn't my best walking, nor
my worst, but an honest glimpse into my progress.
While I can’t say the video fills me with pride, it serves
as a valuable tool. It highlights what needs correction and where I can
improve, much like any of us watching a video of ourselves. I choose to view it
as a guide for growth, and I hope it helps you better understand the reality of
my journey.
Lessons Learned: Falling Gracefully
Over the years, I’ve learned how to fall gracefully. Thank
the Lord, I’ve never broken a bone doing so. I chuckle when filling out medical
forms that ask if I’ve fallen in the past twelve months. If I haven’t, I think,
“I must not be pushing myself hard enough.” While I’ve lost count of how many
times I’ve fallen, I’ve never been hurt badly enough to remember. I don’t fall
as often now and can usually catch myself before hitting the floor.
The Bible tells us, "For a just man falleth seven
times and riseth up again" (Proverbs 24:16). Both physically
and spiritually, it’s important to rise each time.
The Thoughtful Choice of Shoes
For me, choosing shoes isn’t just about style—it’s about
safety and stability. I need shoes with a flat bottom and a good grip to avoid
slipping. Shoes have become an important part of my daily life, and I’m
selective with the brands I choose. I always wear shoes and never go barefoot.
Recently, I’ve started wearing wedge shoes on occasion, a
new challenge. I hope to work my way back to wearing high heels again someday.
It may seem distant now, but I believe it’s possible. We all need goals, and
this is one I’m working toward.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” (2
Corinthians 5:7)
Looking Forward
As I continue on this journey, I remind myself that progress
takes time, and every step counts. My future goals include moving more
gracefully and reducing my reliance on support. My advice to you is simple:
don’t quit. With God, nothing is impossible.
My journey from a wheelchair to a walker and eventually
walking independently has been filled with challenges and triumphs. Each step
has strengthened my faith and determination. I hope my story encourages you to
persevere in your own struggles.
“Let us not be weary in well-doing, for in due season we
shall reap, if we faint not.” (Galatians 6:9)
Share your motivation.
Be encouraged! 🧡
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