Life after my 2009 motorcycle accident has been a journey filled with challenges, triumphs, and revelations of God's faithfulness. While I’ve shared many obstacles I’ve overcome, there are always new insights I discover—small details about my recovery that even I sometimes overlook. Today, I want to share some unique things—a silver lining, a struggle, and God’s answer—that have become an unexpected part of my story.
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| January 2025 |
Since my accident, I’ve learned that our brainstem controls many automatic
functions, things we rarely think about, like breathing, swallowing, digestion,
or a beating heart. But in my case, I noticed something unusual: three things I
haven’t experienced since July 2009—yawning, hiccupping, or sneezing.
These three things are reflexive, automatic responses controlled by, you
guessed it, the brainstem.
At first, it might sound strange,
but let me explain. No matter how tired I am or how many people around me are
yawning, I don’t yawn. I’ve sniffed black pepper, expecting the telltale tickle
of a sneeze, but nothing happens. And hiccups, which we all know can be both
annoying and unpredictable, have completely disappeared from my life.
"For we are fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." (Psalm 139:14)
Finding the Silver Lining
What initially seemed odd has become one of those "happy accidents"
that I can’t help but chuckle about. While these three bodily functions serve
important purposes, their absence has also been a strange kind of blessing. I
never have to worry about the discomfort of hiccups interrupting a
conversation, the suddenness of a sneeze catching me off guard, or the social
awkwardness of yawning during an important moment.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Navigating Emotional Healing
When I returned home to North Carolina in February 2010, I brought more than
just physical baggage with me. My mom had to manage a notebook-sized list of
medications that I was taking daily, each addressing something different—from
regulating my blood pressure to managing emotional trauma. That huge task was
even bigger in that she had to crush the medication first before administering
it via my feeding tube. Among those medications was Zoloft, an antidepressant
prescribed to help me cope with the severe trauma and emotional distress I had
experienced.
"In the multitude of my
thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul." (Psalm 94:19)
God's Timing in Weaning Off
Medication
Before leaving Georgia, my mom spoke with my doctors about when she might begin
weaning me off Zoloft. One doctor’s response stuck with her: “You know your
daughter better than anyone. As a mother, you’ll know the right time to begin.”
In the months after returning
home, I remember jokingly saying to my mom, “I don’t know how to feel.” To me,
it was a passing comment, but to her, it was a sign. She noticed that while on
the medication, I seemed to lack my usual emotional responses—nothing upset me,
but nothing deeply moved me either. It wasn’t me.
Unknown to me at the time, my
mom began the process of weaning me off Zoloft. Shortly thereafter, I no longer
needed the medication. I began to feel again—the good and the bad—and as
difficult as it was to process the emotions of grief and loss, I am so thankful
for her wisdom and God’s timing in helping me walk through it. Just as God’s
timing guided me through emotional healing, He also led me in making decisions
about physical therapies.
"To every thing there is
a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." (Ecclesiastes
3:1)
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| May 2010 |
Listening for Divine Direction
Life has been a series of decisions, challenges, and learning to trust in God’s plan. Along the way, I’ve encountered many opportunities for therapy and recovery, each promising a new way forward. One of these was equine therapy, a method involving horseback riding to help retrain the body’s movements, mimic a natural gait, and develop balance, where the rhythmic movement of a horse could teach my body how to shift weight and move correctly. While it seemed promising at first, God had a different path in store for me, and this story is a testimony to His guidance.
At 5'2"
and still confined to a wheelchair, I thought this therapy might be an answer
to regaining mobility. My mom and stepdad took me to a local barn, where I met
Ben, the horse assigned to me.
Standing next to Ben, I felt
overwhelmed. He seemed massive compared to my small, frail frame, which lacked muscle control and stability. While I
wanted to believe this therapy could help me, I also felt uncertain.
Unbeknownst to me, my parents were quietly hoping I would choose not to pursue
it just yet, fearing it might not be the right time.
I didn’t want to make this decision lightly, so I prayed about it, asking God for clarity. I sought His guidance in the only way I knew how—through prayer and patience.
One Sunday, as I listened to a
sermon, the minister quoted a verse that pierced my spirit. It was from Psalms:
"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the
name of the Lord our God." (Psalm 20:7) I didn’t even know the
Bible contained that verse.
The sermon wasn’t specifically
about my situation, but to me, it felt like a direct answer from God. It
reminded me that while therapies and treatments can be helpful, my ultimate
trust and healing would come from Him. That was all the confirmation I needed.
I decided to forgo equine therapy at that time and focus on other avenues for
recovery, trusting in God’s timing and plan.
This experience was a reminder of
how God speaks to us, often in unexpected ways. As I reflect on the moment I
heard that verse in Psalms, it reminds me of something I often share with my
students: The Bible contains every answer we will ever need for any question
we have. We just need to sincerely search for it, ask God for guidance, and
trust that He will reveal it to us. Scripture assures us that there’s “nothing
new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9), and that promise brings me
comfort in every decision I face.
Hearing God in a Whisper
Speaking of unexpected ways, it parallels the story of Elijah in 1 Kings
19. Elijah, seeking to hear from the Lord, experienced dramatic and powerful
events—a fire, an earthquake, and a mighty windstorm. Yet, God was not in any
of those. Instead, Elijah heard Him in a still, small voice—a whisper.
This story carries such a
profound truth: though God is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient, He often
chooses to speak gently. To hear a whisper, we must be close to the one
speaking it. That’s why James 4:8 is so powerful: “Draw nigh to
God, and he will draw nigh to you.”
This moment in my journey
reminded me of the importance of staying close to God, listening for His voice,
and trusting Him to guide me, even in the quietest ways.
Gratitude for the Silver Linings
The challenges I’ve faced have been real, but so have the blessings that come alongside them. Even in the hard moments—like weaning off medication or processing grief—there’s always something to learn, something to give thanks for—reminding me that there’s always a silver lining.
Through this journey, I’ve
learned to seek God in every decision, big or small. It’s not always easy, but
His guidance has never failed me. I share this story as an encouragement to
anyone facing uncertainty—lean into Him, and trust that He will show you the
way, even when the path seems unclear.
"In every thing give
thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1
Thessalonians 5:18)
I hope to inspire others to find the unexpected blessings in their own struggles. Sometimes, the silver linings in our lives are small, subtle things we may not notice at first. But with God’s guidance, even these little moments can shine brightly, filling our hearts with gratitude and peace.
Share what "blessings in disguise" you notice.
Be encouraged. 🧡
Believe ♫There Will Be Joy in the Morning
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