Never Finished Healing

As many of you know, I have recently restarted some speech and swallowing therapy exercises. While those areas remain important to me, there is another journey I am preparing to begin—one-on-one personal training sessions through the YMCA.

Some may wonder why I am choosing to pursue this now.

The answer is simple: I believe I am in a place physically where I can continue making gains in areas that perhaps I was not ready to tackle before. I feel stronger than I once did, and I am hopeful that I can continue advancing my recovery and independence.

Recovery is not always about returning to where you were. Sometimes it is about becoming stronger than you were yesterday.

A New Challenge

The areas I hope to improve are balance, coordination, and movement. Those may sound like simple things to many people, but they are areas that can impact nearly every part of daily life.

There is also another challenge I hope to work on—something that happens in my mind.

Many times, when faced with a task, my first thought is not always, "I can do that."

Instead, my brain often tells me that I cannot. It warns me that it may be unsafe, too difficult, or outside of my abilities. While caution can be helpful, there are times when fear becomes a barrier instead of a protection.

I want to learn how to quiet those thoughts and focus instead on finding a way to accomplish the task before me.

Not recklessly.

Not foolishly.

But confidently.

I want to continue discovering what is possible instead of assuming something is impossible.

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Excited and Nervous

If I am honest, I feel a mixture of excitement and nervousness.

This next step feels different from many of the therapies I have done before. It feels less like learning something new and more like fine-tuning something that already exists.

I want my movement to become smoother and more graceful rather than rigid and forced.

I know there are challenges that stand in my way.

I live with ataxia, among other physical limitations, and those things affect balance, coordination, and movement. I understand that there are realities I must work with and limitations I may always face.

But I have also learned something over the years.

Improvement is possible.

Maybe not always in giant leaps.

Maybe not always at the speed we would like.

But improvement is possible.

How I Define Success

Success may mean different things to different people.

For me, success is not measured in leaps and bounds.

It is measured in steps.

If there is something I can do today that I could not do yesterday, that is success.

If my balance improves slightly, that is success.

If I become a little more confident in my movements, that is success.

If I learn a new way to accomplish a task independently, that is success.

Sometimes we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to celebrate the progress we are making along the way.

The truth is that every accomplishment is built one step at a time.

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Finding the Edge

There is another thought that often makes me smile.

If you have ever filled out an intake form at a doctor's office or therapy appointment, you have probably seen the question:

"Have you fallen in the last 12 months?"

Most of the time, my answer has been yes.

Now, before anyone panics, I should clarify that I rarely fall these days compared to years ago. My balance has improved tremendously, and many times I can catch myself before a stumble turns into a fall.

Still, every time I see that question, a humorous thought crosses my mind.

Part of me thinks, "If I answer no, am I really trying hard enough?"

Of course, I understand the purpose of the question. Safety matters, and I certainly do not want to take unnecessary risks. But there is also a deeper truth hidden in that thought.

How do we discover our limits if we never test them?

How do we learn what we are capable of if we never step beyond what feels comfortable?

Many of the improvements I have made over the years happened because I was willing to attempt something that felt difficult, awkward, or even a little intimidating.

If I always stayed where I felt completely safe, I might never discover what I was actually capable of doing.

Growth often happens at the edge of our comfort zone.

Not in reckless abandon, but in courageous persistence.

Sometimes we have to lean forward a little before we realize God has already given us the strength to take the next step.

God's Strength Along the Way

When I look back over my journey, I know I have not reached this point on my own.

Without God's strength, His mercy, His courage, and His faithfulness, I would not be able to do the things I do today.

There have been many moments when I wanted to quit.

Many moments when progress seemed slow.

Many moments when the mountain in front of me appeared too large to climb.

Yet God continued to carry me through.

Every milestone, every improvement, every victory belongs first to Him.

Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Never Finished Healing

If I am completely honest, there are still times when I wish I could be exactly as I was before my accident.

I think that desire is natural.

But I am also a realist.

While I choose to remain positive and hopeful, I understand that expecting a complete return to the person I once was is not realistic.

Instead, I choose to focus on what is possible.

I choose to focus on the next step.

I choose to focus on the improvements that can still be made.

Because healing is rarely a single event.

It is often a lifelong journey.

Even seventeen years after my accident, I am still learning, still adapting, and still finding opportunities to grow.

A Lesson for the Soul

As I think about this physical journey, I cannot help but see similarities to our spiritual walk.

Just as our bodies require attention, growth, and continual improvement, so do our souls.

I do not believe we ever truly arrive.

There is always something God is teaching us.

Always an area where we can grow.

Always a lesson to learn.

Always a closer walk with Christ to pursue.

The Christian life is not about reaching a point where we no longer need God.

It is about continually depending on Him as He shapes us into what He wants us to become.

Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ."

Looking Ahead

As I prepare to begin these personal training sessions, I do not know exactly what the future holds.

There will undoubtedly be challenges.

There will likely be frustrations.

There may even be days when progress seems invisible.

But I also believe there will be lessons learned, confidence gained, and unexpected victories along the way.

For now, I am choosing to take the next step.

Not because I know exactly where the path leads.

But because I know Who walks beside me.

And sometimes, the greatest victories begin with simply being willing to try.

So, I Ask

• Is there an area of your life where fear is holding you back from taking the next step?
• Have you been overlooking small victories because you are focused only on major accomplishments?
• What is one way God has strengthened you during a difficult season?
• Are you allowing yourself to grow one step at a time, or are you demanding instant results?

No matter where you find yourself today, remember this:

Progress is still progress, even when it comes one small step at a time.

 Be encouraged. 🧡

 Listen to these lyrics! 🎵Waiting in the Water